Fie for Thought
Monday, January 29, 2007
Check out some posters I've bought recently. Up the Irons.
I wanna go to the seaside. Somewhere quiet preferably. Just to relax and enjoy the peace. Been keeping myself busy lately, that I've forgot to switch off my brain. Hmm. Anyone care to accompany me or just share the peace?
I wanna go to the seaside. Somewhere quiet preferably. Just to relax and enjoy the peace. Been keeping myself busy lately, that I've forgot to switch off my brain. Hmm. Anyone care to accompany me or just share the peace?
Friday, January 26, 2007
Met up with The Master a.k.a Hui Min today. Somehow I find it weird calling her by her name instead of master. Lol. Anyway, we met up at Peninsula Shopping Center at Burger King and from there till we go home, we just can't stop talking! About guitars, music, band, every damn thing.
While walking from Penin to Bugis, we passed the Maid Cafe. You know, this cafe where the waitresses dress up in maid costume. Master said it was kinda cool, art thingy. I find it some sort of a way to fuel an individual fetish. Lol. Well, the 'maids' are quite good looking, which is of course, a good thing.
Sat down at Bugis Starbucks and talk cock. We were discussing about music theories applied to the guitar. Endless theories. Even considering to find a teacher to teach us. But in the end, fuck all that. We rather build my playing style on my own experiments, understanding and feel. Then, she took out this book on a Japanese Jazz/Funk/Rock band, teaching you how to play their stuffs. Freaking confusing I tell you. Chords I've never seen before, AND...... Lots and lots of 'taughey'. -.- Ok. Forget it.
After that we had this idea when I played the piece 'Breezy' from FFVIII. We wanna make up our own acoustic piece playing very oldies(1950-60s), Bossa novas, spanish songs, game theme songs, and more. Just pure acoustic. Cool eh? Can't wait to start. Oh, the project is called 'Project Citsuoca'. Heh.
One last thing. Every guitarist have their own style of play. I guess I would love to name mine the F.I.E. Style. Free Improvisation Experiment. Whoohoo!!! OK I'm bored. Sleep time.
While walking from Penin to Bugis, we passed the Maid Cafe. You know, this cafe where the waitresses dress up in maid costume. Master said it was kinda cool, art thingy. I find it some sort of a way to fuel an individual fetish. Lol. Well, the 'maids' are quite good looking, which is of course, a good thing.
Sat down at Bugis Starbucks and talk cock. We were discussing about music theories applied to the guitar. Endless theories. Even considering to find a teacher to teach us. But in the end, fuck all that. We rather build my playing style on my own experiments, understanding and feel. Then, she took out this book on a Japanese Jazz/Funk/Rock band, teaching you how to play their stuffs. Freaking confusing I tell you. Chords I've never seen before, AND...... Lots and lots of 'taughey'. -.- Ok. Forget it.
After that we had this idea when I played the piece 'Breezy' from FFVIII. We wanna make up our own acoustic piece playing very oldies(1950-60s), Bossa novas, spanish songs, game theme songs, and more. Just pure acoustic. Cool eh? Can't wait to start. Oh, the project is called 'Project Citsuoca'. Heh.
One last thing. Every guitarist have their own style of play. I guess I would love to name mine the F.I.E. Style. Free Improvisation Experiment. Whoohoo!!! OK I'm bored. Sleep time.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Some friendships are just not meant to be.
More pain there is than joy.
Ah forget it.
I'll stick to my small, no tiny, circle of friends.
Guys, you're where I find my joy and laughter.
Always been able to be myself when I'm with all of you.
The Eisen Guards + Sebastian, I'm 100% myself when I'm with you guys. Best friends will always be cocksters.
Seok and Cindy, I missed the sheesha-ing that we did the other time. Lets go again eh?
Michy. My one and only daughter. Since you're getting promoted soon, means there'll be more milkshakes for me right? =)
Master! A.k.a Huimin. Late night craziness! Heh.
Camp buddies. Can't wait for ORD but I'm sure we'll miss each other after that.
GB buddies. I'll happily kill time with you guys, anytime.
Lily, Bean, Mashi, Bunnie, SmallPrawn, Ianjae, just to name afew.
And of course, last but not least, Emerlda, my mysterious friend. How could I leave you out. =) Thanks for listening out for me everytime. You're the only person I'll open myself to. Thank you so much.
More pain there is than joy.
Ah forget it.
I'll stick to my small, no tiny, circle of friends.
Guys, you're where I find my joy and laughter.
Always been able to be myself when I'm with all of you.
The Eisen Guards + Sebastian, I'm 100% myself when I'm with you guys. Best friends will always be cocksters.
Seok and Cindy, I missed the sheesha-ing that we did the other time. Lets go again eh?
Michy. My one and only daughter. Since you're getting promoted soon, means there'll be more milkshakes for me right? =)
Master! A.k.a Huimin. Late night craziness! Heh.
Camp buddies. Can't wait for ORD but I'm sure we'll miss each other after that.
GB buddies. I'll happily kill time with you guys, anytime.
Lily, Bean, Mashi, Bunnie, SmallPrawn, Ianjae, just to name afew.
And of course, last but not least, Emerlda, my mysterious friend. How could I leave you out. =) Thanks for listening out for me everytime. You're the only person I'll open myself to. Thank you so much.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
This post is for my late grandfather, till the end of his days. I'll miss you Atok.
Define the meaning of a good man and all you need to do is get know this fine soul. A loving husband who lost his wife at an early age. A caring father who showered his children with love and concern without limits. Always advising, always understanding. Even to his grandchildren. A man with few words, soft-spoken, but words that are full of love and meaning. He never thought of himself, only to his loved ones. Such a humble man.
When I was young, I remembered you kept asking me if I've eaten, how is school, are you staying over today. The tiny things you do that showed your care and concern, like switching the fan to the lowest speed in the middle of the night because you thought we were cold, like how every now and then you will walk around the house to see if we're ok. Sometimes you just sat down to accompany me eat, while you talked about my aunts, uncles and how much I've grown. Never have you shared your pain, your story about loosing your wife, my grandmother. I understand, atok.
I'll miss your wonderful cooking. Your 'lauk chelok' with fried tuna was the best around and my favorite. Another one of my favorites, your 'sop kerang' was heavenly; gosh, I'll finish up a whole pot if I could! You spent time cleaning and tidying the house, cooking for the family, watering the plants and do all your prayers, without complain or anything. Never did I ever hear you nagged at my aunts and uncles, or your grandchildren. You never went out of the house unless you had to buy something or go to pray at the mosque. You'll spent time looking out the window alone standing there, in deep thought, which I'll never know.
Sometimes I wonder what are your thoughts, what are your stories, why you never share them with me? I never had the chance to ask you. I don't know why. I just couldn't ask you. Every hari raya I hardly see your tears, only for awhile and they're gone. How you kept them inside, I've no idea. You're such a simple person but yet you're so unique. I thought you didn't have much friends around but when I accompanied you to go to the mosque, its like everyone knows about you. I'm amazed by that.
At the hospital when I visited you, you looked weak, helpless. I'm not used to that sight. You're a strong person in my eyes. It just hurts me like hell seeing you like that, but I knew I had to accept it. Everyone will go through what you're going through. I hold back my tears as I watched my mum holding your hand and massaging your forehead. You turned to look at me. From your eyes, they looked as if they don't recognize me. As if to say "Who is this person?". I understand, you had dementia, but I just can't let the illness let you forget me just like that. I held your hand. I whispered in your ear saying its me, Sopi. That's how you've always called me. You turned, and no longer I see those unwelcomed eyes. Instead, I saw soft eyes, eyes that I always see when I went to visit you. I can't hold it. The tears are coming out. I let go and sat at the corner, holding my tears back. The whole time I was there, I just looked at you. The suffering that you're going through. The last hours of your life.
On 16th January, Tuesday, I stayed in camp. That night I couldn't sleep. I felt restless. I felt uncomfortable. Something just wasn't right. I toss and turn in bed till the next morning. Went for a run to clear my thoughts. I went to eat lunch but somehow the usually delicious nasi lemak wasn't appetizing. The fried chicken wings just didn't taste good. I went back to the bunk, still feeling restless. At exactly 1220hrs, I felt as if I lost something but I wasn't sure what. Played my PSP, after awhile, at 1330, my phone rang. Its my dad.
(Translated to English)
Dad: Pi, are you free now?
Me: I'm in camp. What's up? (I have a very bad feeling)
Dad: (In tears) Atok, he'd passed away.
Me:Wh..What?
Dad: (In tears) He just passed away. Please come quick.
I hanged up and jumped off my bed to get dressed. In 10 minutes, I was in the cab to SGH.
When I reached there, my dad, my uncles, Hassan, Azman, auntie Patimah was already there. My mum and siblings are already on their way to my late grandfather's place to prepare the place for the wake. His bed curtains were closed. The nurses are changing him to be transfered to the morgue. I didn't dare to look. I just stood near the door, holding my tears back and staring at the floor. I don't wanna see him. Not yet. My aunt said he left peacefully. His breathing slowed down till it stopped. He didn't have any illness at the time of death, a healthy man. I'm just happy he passed away peacefully. My Uncle Awie arrived and straight away went to the side of his bed. I caught a glimpse of my late grandfather's face and tears just flowed down. I left the ward and sat alone at the waiting area. I closed my eyes. I just sleep. I was awoken by my dad. Its time to leave. I help to carry the body from the morgue onto the funeral bus and went over to my late grandfather's place, where the wake will take place.
I helped carry the body to the kitchen to be bathed. Then, I stood by the kitchen entrance and watch as the Uztaz, my dad and uncles, bathed him. When I saw his lifeless body, the tears came back again. Just 2 days ago, he was weakly moving his hands to reach out to someone, as if he was scared to be left alone, as if he knew his time is almost up. I guess the saying is true; when someone is about to die, they'll hold on for as long as possible to see the one they loved so much before leaving them behind. The person right beside him just before he passed away, was his beloved daughter, Patimah. My only single aunt who, although busy with work and is a workaholic, never ever leave her father from her side. When they finished bathing him, they carried him to the living room to be dressed. I helped out, still holding back my tears. Then, it was time to say the final prayer/goodbye by all the family members. I just burst out crying. Can't control myself. I sprinkle the powder around his face twice, and kissed him on his forehead, as my tears dripped to his cheeks. Wiped my tears, and we continued on with the prayers.
While heading to the funeral, my cousin, Azri, cried uncontrollably beside me. I just closed my eyes and sleep. The whole time whenever I had the chance I just sleep. A short term relief from reality. We reached the cemetery and the body was buried straight away as it was nearing sundown. After all was done, prayers and everything, I stood behind looking at the grave. There he was, in his final resting place. After 96 years of living in this unforgiving world, he was finally at peace. May you rest in peace, Atok Matban. I'll never forget you. You're the greatest.
Define the meaning of a good man and all you need to do is get know this fine soul. A loving husband who lost his wife at an early age. A caring father who showered his children with love and concern without limits. Always advising, always understanding. Even to his grandchildren. A man with few words, soft-spoken, but words that are full of love and meaning. He never thought of himself, only to his loved ones. Such a humble man.
When I was young, I remembered you kept asking me if I've eaten, how is school, are you staying over today. The tiny things you do that showed your care and concern, like switching the fan to the lowest speed in the middle of the night because you thought we were cold, like how every now and then you will walk around the house to see if we're ok. Sometimes you just sat down to accompany me eat, while you talked about my aunts, uncles and how much I've grown. Never have you shared your pain, your story about loosing your wife, my grandmother. I understand, atok.
I'll miss your wonderful cooking. Your 'lauk chelok' with fried tuna was the best around and my favorite. Another one of my favorites, your 'sop kerang' was heavenly; gosh, I'll finish up a whole pot if I could! You spent time cleaning and tidying the house, cooking for the family, watering the plants and do all your prayers, without complain or anything. Never did I ever hear you nagged at my aunts and uncles, or your grandchildren. You never went out of the house unless you had to buy something or go to pray at the mosque. You'll spent time looking out the window alone standing there, in deep thought, which I'll never know.
Sometimes I wonder what are your thoughts, what are your stories, why you never share them with me? I never had the chance to ask you. I don't know why. I just couldn't ask you. Every hari raya I hardly see your tears, only for awhile and they're gone. How you kept them inside, I've no idea. You're such a simple person but yet you're so unique. I thought you didn't have much friends around but when I accompanied you to go to the mosque, its like everyone knows about you. I'm amazed by that.
At the hospital when I visited you, you looked weak, helpless. I'm not used to that sight. You're a strong person in my eyes. It just hurts me like hell seeing you like that, but I knew I had to accept it. Everyone will go through what you're going through. I hold back my tears as I watched my mum holding your hand and massaging your forehead. You turned to look at me. From your eyes, they looked as if they don't recognize me. As if to say "Who is this person?". I understand, you had dementia, but I just can't let the illness let you forget me just like that. I held your hand. I whispered in your ear saying its me, Sopi. That's how you've always called me. You turned, and no longer I see those unwelcomed eyes. Instead, I saw soft eyes, eyes that I always see when I went to visit you. I can't hold it. The tears are coming out. I let go and sat at the corner, holding my tears back. The whole time I was there, I just looked at you. The suffering that you're going through. The last hours of your life.
On 16th January, Tuesday, I stayed in camp. That night I couldn't sleep. I felt restless. I felt uncomfortable. Something just wasn't right. I toss and turn in bed till the next morning. Went for a run to clear my thoughts. I went to eat lunch but somehow the usually delicious nasi lemak wasn't appetizing. The fried chicken wings just didn't taste good. I went back to the bunk, still feeling restless. At exactly 1220hrs, I felt as if I lost something but I wasn't sure what. Played my PSP, after awhile, at 1330, my phone rang. Its my dad.
(Translated to English)
Dad: Pi, are you free now?
Me: I'm in camp. What's up? (I have a very bad feeling)
Dad: (In tears) Atok, he'd passed away.
Me:Wh..What?
Dad: (In tears) He just passed away. Please come quick.
I hanged up and jumped off my bed to get dressed. In 10 minutes, I was in the cab to SGH.
When I reached there, my dad, my uncles, Hassan, Azman, auntie Patimah was already there. My mum and siblings are already on their way to my late grandfather's place to prepare the place for the wake. His bed curtains were closed. The nurses are changing him to be transfered to the morgue. I didn't dare to look. I just stood near the door, holding my tears back and staring at the floor. I don't wanna see him. Not yet. My aunt said he left peacefully. His breathing slowed down till it stopped. He didn't have any illness at the time of death, a healthy man. I'm just happy he passed away peacefully. My Uncle Awie arrived and straight away went to the side of his bed. I caught a glimpse of my late grandfather's face and tears just flowed down. I left the ward and sat alone at the waiting area. I closed my eyes. I just sleep. I was awoken by my dad. Its time to leave. I help to carry the body from the morgue onto the funeral bus and went over to my late grandfather's place, where the wake will take place.
I helped carry the body to the kitchen to be bathed. Then, I stood by the kitchen entrance and watch as the Uztaz, my dad and uncles, bathed him. When I saw his lifeless body, the tears came back again. Just 2 days ago, he was weakly moving his hands to reach out to someone, as if he was scared to be left alone, as if he knew his time is almost up. I guess the saying is true; when someone is about to die, they'll hold on for as long as possible to see the one they loved so much before leaving them behind. The person right beside him just before he passed away, was his beloved daughter, Patimah. My only single aunt who, although busy with work and is a workaholic, never ever leave her father from her side. When they finished bathing him, they carried him to the living room to be dressed. I helped out, still holding back my tears. Then, it was time to say the final prayer/goodbye by all the family members. I just burst out crying. Can't control myself. I sprinkle the powder around his face twice, and kissed him on his forehead, as my tears dripped to his cheeks. Wiped my tears, and we continued on with the prayers.
While heading to the funeral, my cousin, Azri, cried uncontrollably beside me. I just closed my eyes and sleep. The whole time whenever I had the chance I just sleep. A short term relief from reality. We reached the cemetery and the body was buried straight away as it was nearing sundown. After all was done, prayers and everything, I stood behind looking at the grave. There he was, in his final resting place. After 96 years of living in this unforgiving world, he was finally at peace. May you rest in peace, Atok Matban. I'll never forget you. You're the greatest.
Monday, January 15, 2007
A lot of emotions. A lot of confusion have been happening, and still happening. All the distractions.
One of life's beauty is the happiness, the smiles, that appears on people's faces and giving them the push they need to move forward when things seemed hopeless and out of hand. Isn't that worth all the cheering and patience?
Emotions are gonna distract us, blind us. Its a liability in certain ways, yet its good in most ways. The biggest question is, how do we not let emotions distract us? Even the most hardy person can be broken down through emotional means. From what I see, different people do different things; some needed to talk to people, to enjoy; some just wants to be alone, sort things out themselves; while others find friends, or strangers to talk and get advice. Neither of them are wrong nor ineffective, only how you come out from it after that makes it effective.
Whatever the distractions, the problems, always remember that this is life. For life's beauty, there's a price we all have to pay. No matter how hurting it can be, how hard it would be, the price tags varies. We all can pay it and bear the pain of paying it. Gah. I blogged too much nonsense. Well, here's something for all. Smile people. =)
Come on, Smile!
Hey! Come on! Smile!
Grin from ear to ear,
There's certainly nothing to fear.
You'll look crazy if you do that often,
So what?! You're not gonna be beaten!
Hey! You! Smile!
Greet anyone with a smile,
a small gesture that would go an extra mile.
When they smile back to greet back to you,
it'll make your day too!
Hey! Fatty/walking stick/minah/ah lian/cockster/etc..! Smile!
Lets be mean,
And don't be forgiving!
But be nice at the same time!
Err, how the heck you do that, you might wonder sometime.
Oi! Ya, All of you! Smile lah!
Why so sian eh?!
You got problem I see you sian I not sian meh?
Come lah, smile, be happy.
I poke you, you poke me, we make fun of people secretly.
=)
One of life's beauty is the happiness, the smiles, that appears on people's faces and giving them the push they need to move forward when things seemed hopeless and out of hand. Isn't that worth all the cheering and patience?
Emotions are gonna distract us, blind us. Its a liability in certain ways, yet its good in most ways. The biggest question is, how do we not let emotions distract us? Even the most hardy person can be broken down through emotional means. From what I see, different people do different things; some needed to talk to people, to enjoy; some just wants to be alone, sort things out themselves; while others find friends, or strangers to talk and get advice. Neither of them are wrong nor ineffective, only how you come out from it after that makes it effective.
Whatever the distractions, the problems, always remember that this is life. For life's beauty, there's a price we all have to pay. No matter how hurting it can be, how hard it would be, the price tags varies. We all can pay it and bear the pain of paying it. Gah. I blogged too much nonsense. Well, here's something for all. Smile people. =)
Come on, Smile!
Hey! Come on! Smile!
Grin from ear to ear,
There's certainly nothing to fear.
You'll look crazy if you do that often,
So what?! You're not gonna be beaten!
Hey! You! Smile!
Greet anyone with a smile,
a small gesture that would go an extra mile.
When they smile back to greet back to you,
it'll make your day too!
Hey! Fatty/walking stick/minah/ah lian/cockster/etc..! Smile!
Lets be mean,
And don't be forgiving!
But be nice at the same time!
Err, how the heck you do that, you might wonder sometime.
Oi! Ya, All of you! Smile lah!
Why so sian eh?!
You got problem I see you sian I not sian meh?
Come lah, smile, be happy.
I poke you, you poke me, we make fun of people secretly.
=)
Friday, January 12, 2007
Recently, I've been reading Tuesdays with Morrie and I'm currently on page 50. The memories just keeps flowing. There isn't a time when I opened this book to read and somewhere in between when Professor Morrie came into the picture, a tear I would shed without knowing it.
He was just like her. Facing death, not a hint of fear. Smiling, as joyful as ever, full of wisdom. She was just like him. Concern about everything in the world, interested about everyone around her. Professor Morrie said something in the book that she said to me before. "Dying is a sad thing, living unhappily is another thing." She and professor Morrie had the same concept; they're living their last times to the fullest. And another quote from which Professor Morrie said, "Love wins. Love always wins." Whereas she said, "Love will bring you through. Even through death." The similarities.
She taught me the true meaning of love, which now made the person that I am. Her thoughts, her words, its as if somehow she learned the meaning of life during those final moments. To appreciate what's been given and to find what's lost. To share the love around and to remove the hate from within. She gave me patience I thought I could never achieve.
How could I forget about all that was said to me... Forgive me...
Her lessons, Professor Morrie's lessons, the lessons of the dying. The lesson of life. I'm glad Mitch Albom wrote this book. It couldn't have been written any better.
To Professor Morrie Schwartz,
And to my dear Fizah Lee Wan Qian,
May you both rest in peace.
He was just like her. Facing death, not a hint of fear. Smiling, as joyful as ever, full of wisdom. She was just like him. Concern about everything in the world, interested about everyone around her. Professor Morrie said something in the book that she said to me before. "Dying is a sad thing, living unhappily is another thing." She and professor Morrie had the same concept; they're living their last times to the fullest. And another quote from which Professor Morrie said, "Love wins. Love always wins." Whereas she said, "Love will bring you through. Even through death." The similarities.
She taught me the true meaning of love, which now made the person that I am. Her thoughts, her words, its as if somehow she learned the meaning of life during those final moments. To appreciate what's been given and to find what's lost. To share the love around and to remove the hate from within. She gave me patience I thought I could never achieve.
How could I forget about all that was said to me... Forgive me...
Her lessons, Professor Morrie's lessons, the lessons of the dying. The lesson of life. I'm glad Mitch Albom wrote this book. It couldn't have been written any better.
To Professor Morrie Schwartz,
And to my dear Fizah Lee Wan Qian,
May you both rest in peace.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Its ironic how things can be so clear yet so distorted at the same time depending on which angle you're looking at. A distorted reality in which appears as natural as the real world, only in the minds of each individual, till suddenly that individual is in the right angle.
Funny it seems. All those lies. The cause of most distorted reality, fake hopes, fake feelings, a fool. Trusting lies, blinding us from what is true, and only to take away our reality. Lies that are told and created by each and everyone of us. Its convinient to create a lie. Even easier forget about it. 'Well, woops! I lied? Oh so sorry. I didn't meant to do that.' Ironically, we do everytime without knowing it.
Wondering around, endlessly searching, everywhere, to look for something I have no idea what it is, guided only by my instinct. I can't trust my reality, no more. Everything is suspicious. Everything is a lie. Lies! Lies! Freaking lies!
Maybe I know what I'm searching for. Maybe I'm just not looking for it the correct way. Maybe I'm looking for the whole truth. The truth about life. Well, its worth the search.
Funny it seems. All those lies. The cause of most distorted reality, fake hopes, fake feelings, a fool. Trusting lies, blinding us from what is true, and only to take away our reality. Lies that are told and created by each and everyone of us. Its convinient to create a lie. Even easier forget about it. 'Well, woops! I lied? Oh so sorry. I didn't meant to do that.' Ironically, we do everytime without knowing it.
Wondering around, endlessly searching, everywhere, to look for something I have no idea what it is, guided only by my instinct. I can't trust my reality, no more. Everything is suspicious. Everything is a lie. Lies! Lies! Freaking lies!
Maybe I know what I'm searching for. Maybe I'm just not looking for it the correct way. Maybe I'm looking for the whole truth. The truth about life. Well, its worth the search.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
If You Need Me..
My eyes are blank; my heart is broken
But if you need me, my arms are open
My life is empty without you here
But if you need me, I’ll hold you near
My face is damp from tears filled with pain
But if you need me, I’ll guide you through the rain
My life is vacant, with no one to take my hand
But if you need me, by your side I will stand
My mind is slowly leaving; my smile is no longer bright
But if you need me, I’ll be there to hold you through the night
My hands are empty; my heart is starting to pound
But if you need me, I’ll help you off the ground
I no longer have you to promise me the sky
But if you need me, I’ll hold you while you cry
If you need me, I’ll always be there for you
If you need me, I’ll figure out what to do
If you need me, I’ll look into your eyes
If you need me, for you I would die
My life is gone; I have nothing left to give
But if you need me, I would offer my being so you could live.
My eyes are blank; my heart is broken
But if you need me, my arms are open
My life is empty without you here
But if you need me, I’ll hold you near
My face is damp from tears filled with pain
But if you need me, I’ll guide you through the rain
My life is vacant, with no one to take my hand
But if you need me, by your side I will stand
My mind is slowly leaving; my smile is no longer bright
But if you need me, I’ll be there to hold you through the night
My hands are empty; my heart is starting to pound
But if you need me, I’ll help you off the ground
I no longer have you to promise me the sky
But if you need me, I’ll hold you while you cry
If you need me, I’ll always be there for you
If you need me, I’ll figure out what to do
If you need me, I’ll look into your eyes
If you need me, for you I would die
My life is gone; I have nothing left to give
But if you need me, I would offer my being so you could live.
