Fie for Thought
Dying To Be Alive
There is a constant struggle within me,
And it is raging deep inside.
It kills me that I can't stop it,
As of now my hands are tied.
I used to think it was the world,
And I carried that weight on my back.
It's like I'm wearing a blindfold,
Because I perceive my world as black.
I can't continue to live this way,
It's killing me bit by bit.
My life is like a puzzle,
And some pieces just don't seem to fit.
I used to wear a constant smile,
And nothing could get me down,
But times change and things happen,
Now it's a constant frown.
The feelings are growing more intense,
The battles are lasting longer,
Yet I am starting to fight them in a different way,
Maybe I am getting stronger.
I feel I'm strong enough to beat this,
And I know I can survive.
One thing that I have failed to realize,
Is that I am dying to be alive.
Poetic Rhyme
Let the mad poets say what they please
For beauty is truth, true beauty, that is all.
At tender eye-drawn of aurorean love
You disperse the seeds of innocence into my heart.
And now my guard has fallen
For I have become weak and under your spell.
Nevertheless, I render my joy
To a woman so beautiful, lineal of a goddess indeed.
Bleedeth my veins they shall
To see you walk the purest of heaven's dreams.
No regrets of how one feels for thee,
Like the hidden scent of an unbudded rose.
And now, my love, my seraph fair, awake!
Believe how I love thee, believe how near
My soul is to its doom.
I would not grieve
For love is divine, as divine as it can be.
I set my weary soul in flames to please.
No honour, no pride, no glory I hold inside.
Just my love at stake
And your free will to decide.
Cut mercy with a sharp knife to the bone.
A fool I may be possibly,
But love laws I speak with tears,
For you know now of the love
I kept within my heart
For you ever more, my dear.
Why Do We?
Why do we let one person
be the center of our lives,
and when that person leaves us,
think there's no way we can survive?
Why do we think our world has crashed down,
and that tomorrow will never come?
Why, when we see that person,
do we just want to run?
Why do we think we can't move on,
when we know our friends are always there,
or when someone new comes into our life,
why do we compare?
You know your heart and soul
have been turned upside down.
Why do we let this happen?
Why don't we turn this back around?
Glitter Goth
Black on black
With butterfly clips
Sparkles on my eyes
With blood red lips
All in all
I'm just a kitten
Cute as hell
But don't get bitten
I can fall in love
Every other day
But with their minds
I will play
I will get my revenge on those with merit
But I'm fair
They'll have to deserve it
Firefly bright
Or quiet as a moth
I'm incomprehensible
The Glitter Goth
Inner Beauty
Your eyes sparkle in mysterious ways,
Their mystery remains silent by days.
By nights, they glitter and they dance,
Keeping the mystery in a trance.
Your lips are soft as petals of a rose,
Soft lines embrace and gently flow.
Your lips, soft as the mornin' dew,
Temptations are far from a few.
Your smile is a tempting tease,
And warm as a summer's breeze.
Your smile turns gray skies to blue,
Like happiness, through and through.
Inner beauty lights the 'fire of life'
In happiness and times of strife.
Your strength carries you on life's way,
Your warmth and beauty increase each day.
Falling Angels
Pain is a poison to a heart made of tears,
Mirrors are memories of the past years.
Loneliness is like a chill from the grave,
Of living grace one can never save.
I seek happiness, I will never find,
Burning alters into one's mine.
Even the blind can see life's pain,
Tears washed away by the falling rain.
I stood hear hearing your soul's cries,
Burning through a million lies.
Love is a legend in my darkened mind,
Something to seek through, never to find.
I feel the chill of a fierce cry,
Mourning songs of those who had die.
Silver shadows cast by the moon,
Of falling angels returning soon.
Happy Immortality
Life will make dumb
Life will make numb
Wanna be like me
Shut your self down
Can't save myself
Can't save you
Falling so far away
Lost in a daze
Time will kill you
Silence too
Love is for fools
Love is an illusion
Confusion
Lost words
Hell in my head
Breaking down
Slitting the core of my soul
Bleeding the blood of my spirit
I am not immune
Poison fills my heart
Shots of pain
Into my viens
Slowly filling
Dead from inside out
Stuck by the needles of indifference
Cut by the devil's blade
Soul filled with anger and hate
Hung by my words
Use the lancet
Bleed it all
Slit my throat
Help me die
Watch me fall
Fall away I am dead
I am different than everything
No longer do I feel the sting
Silence
Silence is golden, when you have nothing to loose
A pure heart is broken, and your words are not to be amused.
You shut out the sound, so you can't hear the pain
Of the one who loves you, because you hurt her again.
You put up your shield and you push her away
Deep in your heart, do you want her to stay?
Love is not something you decide to feel
It’s something you feel in your heart, and is real.
If you love someone, and you don't want them to go
Open your heart, let your true feelings show.
Take a chance, don't let your heart be frozen
There's still time to repair what's been broken.
Take some time out before you choose
You may find you have something you don't want to loose.
The Fall
Line of trees on hilltop, spread.
Broken alter, drowned by leaves.
Swamp-land swallows forest, whole.
And I, the soulless stand
before devil's gate.
Blighted hand
lifts out of ground,
drags me in
beneath the depths of fall.
Barren woods,
so full of grief,
hooded traveller
on the path is seen.
Past unmarked grave
the foot of tree: he walks.
and there on the horizon rises
veiled night rover,
and witch's flight.
Hail storm night,
the forest breaks,
the roots of trees uplift.
The cries of the dead
echo above the din,
and mine the loudest of all.
Growing Up (Posted by Allyina)
Paths we take
Choices we make
Paths we take alone
Choices we make on our own
We all grow up and learn
We all take different turns
Turns in our path of life
Turns that may lead to strife
Problems we go through
Problems exists in other lives too
Having problems are not wrong
Having problems do not stay forever long
Conflicts causes growth in many ways
Lessons we learn will always stay
Conflicts we gain as years go on
Lessons we learn, to make us live on
Silence, Emptiness, And Confusion (Posted by Allyina)
Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl
It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager is stricken and destroyed
There is no sound of laughter or happiness here
The little one has thrown in the towel today
Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope and dream and pray
Emptiness builds a home in this woman
In this girl, this child where hollows have bred
A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread
Confusion feeds like a savage inside her,
Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdained.
Beautiful (Posted by Allyina, dedicated to Saufi)
He is beautiful, so very beautiful
Just like a winter's shining landscape,
As delicate as the petals of a daisy,
And as freely as the eagle soaring against the blue
His eyes are as mysterious as the calm sea
Everything about him is so very precious,
More precious than all the gems in the world
His soul is the essence of the sky and earth,
His feelings are a volcano that is yet to explode
His smile is the smile of lost innocence.
Pain vibrates deep inside of his gentle heart.
A lock shuts in the disturbed thoughts of his mind,
A mind with as many roads as the world has.
I look at him and I see a pure truth,
Like looking at a clear night sky,
Millions of stars twinkle within him.
He is beauty as I defined it,
He is perfect, his imperfections make him so.
He is my best friend, and I love him,
I love him although, not because.
And I would give up all the things which I think are pretty
If only I can hold his beauty within me,
For he is everything in this world,
And I have found a world in him.
Storm
My life is a storm
And I am drowning in this raging ocean of life.
Waves rising over my head, rain pouring down hard
Thunder crashing...lightning flashing.
My head disappears under the dark, blue waves again.
I reach my hand up hoping someone will see me
Pull me out of the water
Save me from this cold, wet, watery grave.
Someone took my hand and pulled me up.
I open my eyes and who do I see?
I see her staring back at me.
Where did she come from?
How did we meet?
None of that really matters because of this...
We are together and that means more than all those dreary details.
I begin to breathe easier as you pull me above the clouds.
I feel like my hand is slipping...no...couldn't be...
I'm imagining...I can't really be slipping...but it feels like it.
I try to hold your hand tighter.
But our hands are wet from the rain. We couldn't hold on.
My fingers slipped through yours.
It wasn't your fault...you just couldn't hold on...no one could...
I closed my eyes and blindly grabbed for something to hold onto.
Something...anything...just air...no...
I hit the water hard...my whole body stings...
I slip deep beneath the waves.
I try to open my eyes but I just see darkness.
I open my mouth and take a breath of water.
Still I reach for you...my chest exploding.
6 feet under...in the middle of the ocean...
I was buried.
Gasping truth
(Poem for Nyssa)
Silence surrounds me
suffocating and deafening
as it all may seem
I giggle to myself approvingly
asking for more, begging
begging, for my soul to be filled
filled with turmoil and trouble
I'm watching, waiting
Can't you hear my silent screams
Can't you see my bloodshot eyes
begging to be taken prisoner
by forces stronger than us all
Can't you feel my gasp for breath
Breath that doesn't even exist
Do you see my arms
hugging my chest
tryin to keep in the last bit of warmth
Can't you see my body
calm and collected
Do you feel my heart
a heart half filled with love
Just can't fit
My despair is never ending,
Only silence do I hear,
And friends to me are lost,
Amid my silence and my tears.
For the sunrise is always hidden,
The sunset... never seen,
And hope is far removed,
From the joy which could have been.
Now hope is quickly falling,
Into a never ending pit,
And though I try to carry on,
To life... I just can't fit.
For I locked away your beauty,
Then I threw away the key,
I tried so hard to forget you,
But you haunt and stir... in me.
Will there ever be a sunrise,
Will there be a brand new morn,
Will I ever see the beauty,
In the sun at break of dawn?
No! I don't want to see such beauty,
For despair has stole my heart,
And deep down I truly know,
That we'll always be apart.
When your heart no more recalls me,
When at last I face my death,
Know... that when I left thee,
Your name was on my breath.
For I whispered your name too often,
And clung to thoughts of you,
When I should have bid farewell,
When I should have said, "Adieu".
But you were everything to me,
My today and my tomorrow,
Now all I've known is gone,
Replaced by sadness and with sorrow.
And though others... I may love,
For they'll cast their magic spell,
No one will feel the depth of love,
That I felt for you... F.L.W.Q.
Horrid dreams
Once again I awaken from my horrid dreams,
With broken spirit and wrist slashed to the bone.
I cannot help but cry out from this terrible pain
And then remember that, as always, I am alone.
Another night of nightmares keeps me from my rest,
Once again I ponder just when it is that I will heal.
But somehow I know that it won't happen
So long as a part of me wishes these dreams were real.
I sit here in the middle of the night and cry
While the rest of the world takes time to sleep.
At least this way there is noone that may come
And attempt to interrupt me while I weep.
So I sit here quietly, unable to stop the flow of my tears,
And the saddest part of all is that I do not even know why.
I am not sure if I sit here weeping in fright from my dreams
Or if I weep because I cannot finally die.
Days teach me
Days Teach me
To Always Dream
However, It may never come true
But It is the best way
To Live Life through
Days Teach me
To Dream so High
And never give up and always Try
Never Let go or say Good-bye
Days Teach me
That when there is darkness
For sure dawn is the next
And when everything is so tiring
For sure there would be time to Rest
Days Teach me
Always care for a Friend
Always be true & never pretend
Always Love with no End
And the broken hearts try to mend
Days Teach me
Never to Feel hate
Always be confident and ever hesitate
Always Believe in Fate
Days Teach me
To open my heart and forgive
'cause that will help me
To survive and Live
Days Teach me
That Lovers meet & stay together
And others are apart
So if you are one who has been Lefted
Don't cry and suffer
Just search for a new start
Days Teach me
The past I must forget
And nothing needs my Regret
Days Teach me
To Always offer my helping hand
And never doubt in people
when there is no proof
And always try to understand
Days Teach me
Not to be shy
If I have done something wrong
But to be proud that I have learned
A lesson that will help me to be strong
A Few Words From A Silent Warrior (part 2)
When these forces pull at you,
Ripping you seam from seam.
You explod outwards into life,
And the damage done is something,
Most people would be sick to see.
And when these forces suck you in,
You slowly wither away.
You pull yourself out of life,
And lock yourself away.
These forces eat away at you,
Your heart, mind and soul.
Eventually you can’t take it anymore,
The pain you feel is to great.
You want to stop all the hurt,
So you take your own life away.
But are these the only ways,
To escape from all the pains?
Or can these things be used,
In other useful ways?
Instead of exploding outwards,
And causing something harm.
Can this forceful energy,
Be used for something good,
Like take out all that energy,
Upon a block of wood.
Use that focused energy,
To practice something hard.
And for those who are the other way,
That keep it all inside.
Don’t let it eat you up inside,
Just go ahead and cry.
Find another person,
Who is caring and so sweet.
To listen to your problem,
Help you back upon your feet.
Just let someone know,
Exactly how you feel.
Let out all that built up pressure,
Just let it float away.
You probably want to know,
Just how I came to this.
How I came to realize,
The way to get over this.
Well I learned from experience,
An experience I hope didn’t come too late.
I fight upon my own battle grounds,
I fight a battle to save the one and only true me.
A Few Words From A Silent Warrior (Part 1)
Life is full of dreams and hopes,
Fears and hate and sadness.
Death and guilt and happiness,
Lust and aspirations.
These things come upon you,
Day to day,
Minute to minute,
Second to ever longing second.
Each of these can approach you,
At the blinding speed of light.
And some can leave you just as quick,
But some leave you very slowly.
Then there are those,
That stay lodged in your heart forever.
Now when one of these gets to you,
You can handle it very easy.
When two or three jump on board,
Then things get a little harder.
When all of these attach themselves,
Deep within your heart.
They rip apart your mind and soul,
And can get pretty nasty.
When all of these attack you,
In small little chunks.
Things look nasty at first,
But things can improve.
It is when all of these attack you,
With giant-like strength,
That is when things go wrong.
These tremendous forces of might,
Pull at your every seam.
You can either be torn apart,
Or sucked up deep inside.
Either way things go very wrong.
A Best Friend Is Forever
I never knew a friendship could be so strong and last so long.
The day we met was way back in time,
And our friendship has lasted from that day on.
A friendship like ours is hard to find,
And sometimes it could take a lifetime to find that one true friend
Who would be by your side when times get too hard to face all alone.
I never would have known we could grow together so close.
Most friendships can end in a turn of a knob or a tick of a clock,
But ours has lasted throughout the hard times we have had.
We fought about things that could have just passed by,
But after the hard time we always ended up on each other's side.
Our friendship has lasted through thick and thin.
The last time we said good-bye I thought it was the end,
But God keeps bringing us back together because he knows
That our friendship is too strong to let us move on.
He knows no one deserves to be alone.
That's why we have each other, to help us through these lonely times.
I was lost all those times we were split apart
By things that shouldn't have been,
And now I know how lucky I am to have you as my best friend.
I am so lucky to have you, because I love you
And you're my best friend until the end,
And you can always count on me because I'll be here for you
When all the good doors begin to close,
Because that's what a best friend is for!
Eternal Unreason
You took a gun to your compassion,
Slowly smothered me with hate.
Do you think about the future
And the fire you create?
With your hand upon my sorrow,
And your blade against my will;
Do you stop to wipe away what's left
Of the acid that you spill?
Is your mind possessed by demons,
Only suffering can dispel?
Did you think of who would catch you,
If by chance your reason fell?
Will in time your narcissism melt away,
To leave your sheltered core?
Or have you folded inside yourself,
No love left anymore?
Bring me closer to an answer,
As for an answer my heart cries.
But for every question that you answer,
Another question shall arise.
Hallowed By Thy Name
(sorry peeps. Too tired to think of anything. Here's the lyrics from my fav song.)
I'm waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime
Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time
Cos at 5 o'clock they take me to the Gallows Pole
The sands of time for me are running low
When the priest comes to read me the last rites
I take a look through the bars at the last sights
Of a world that has gone very wrong for me
Can it be there's some sort of error
Hard to stop the surmounting terror
Is it really the end not some crazy dream
Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming
It's not so easy to stop from screaming
But words escape me when I try to speak
Tears they flow but why am I crying
After all I am not afraid of dying
Don't believe that there is never an end
As the guards march me out to the courtyard
Someone calls from a cell "God be with you"
If there's a God then why has he let me die?
As I walk all my life drifts before me
And though the end is near I'm not sorry
Catch my soul cos it's willing to fly away
Mark my words please believe my soul lives on
Please don't worry now that I have gone
I've gone beyond to see the truth
When you know that your time is close at hand
maybe then you'll begin to understand
Life down there is just a strange illusion.
Death
(Edited. Original by William Shakespear. Requested by Ally)
Come away, come away, death,
And in sad cypres let me be laid;
Fly away, fly away, breath;
I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,
O prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true
Did share it.
Not a flower, not a flower sweet,
On my black coffin let there be strown;
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corse, where my bones shall be thrown:
A thousand thousand sighs to save,
Lay me, O, where
Sad true lover never find my grave
To weep there!
Living
From my window I can see
Living trees
Dew glistening on the leaves, dripping
Like dark blood welling from an ancient wound
Spilling life onto the damp ground below
Filling craters in the mud
Indentations, recording a past memory of a day gone by
The energy printed on the record of time
The trees know they will go on
Even when war and hatred clear the Earth
Of civilisation
The grass will still grow
Pushing through the pores of fresh loam
Like hair folicles through skin
