Sigh. Dumb me. Was suppose to go down to the airport to see Chris(nura's) off back home but I couldn't. Its just not possible to be there in my state right now. Swollen eyes, dazed, in my own world. How could I possibly do any good if I were to go there. Instead of good memories of his stay here, Chris would probably be turn off by the sight of a loser like me.

Instead I hide myself in my room, door's closed, my guitar amp half blasting, my laptop screaming Maiden. Playing with all my heart out. I had to block it off. I had to keep it in. The knife is still stuck there right at the heart. Is there a thing called brainwash? If there is please do tell me how to. I missed feeling happy. Feeling normal. The usual Fie. Sigh.

I'm sorry nura, really am. I promised. Broke that promise. Sigh.

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Pathetic. Its the perfect word. To describe a weakling. A weakling, deserved what he gets. Such pathetic behaviour is unacceptable. WAKE THE FUCK UP, FOR GOODNESS SAKE! You wanna be like this?! This weak fuck that you are?! C'mon! That mask of your's aren't gonna last forever. It will break sooner or later, and when it does, the humiliation is just gonna overwhelm you. Be the person that you were. Its time to continue the journey of your life. Your old life.


Remember the promise, remember the vow.
Forget what misery is, I know you know how.
Pick up the remains, of your shattered heart.
As the pain starts to wane, then a new path shall start.  ¶ 11:12 PM