My mind's blank. I don't know what to say or do anymore. I guess I'd just give up. Nothing I can do anyway. Useless me.

Every year, there is the Hari Raya hype and everybody gets so excited, just about everything that has to do with that day. All the shopping, cleaning, anticipation. Honestly, I don't see any excitement or anything special about this day. Never had I enjoyed it. Seek forgiveness and enjoy yourself on this joyful day, they would say. People crying and asking for forgiveness with each other. The fun they refering to perhaps means the interaction with each other and eating food. To be honest, I pretend to have fun every year. The oh-so-obvious fake smile I put on every year. Go this, go that. You have to go or do or people will get upset.

Gahh.. I don't know what I'm babbling about. I just hate all this kinda 'special' days which somehow I don't see anything special about it. Rather be doing duty then be out on these days, get my off-in-lieu. Rather spend my off days doing other things.

Ahh.. I'm of to bed. At least its more peaceful then staying awake. At least I don't have to think and time will pass faster. If only I could just live in a dream forever. Who wouldn't want to?  ¶ 12:16 AM