Used, as a toy.
Played with, treasured.
Loved, adored.
Abandoned.
Bored, jaded.
Seeking new fun, new toy.
Old toy, broken.
Dusted, in the dark.
Forgotten, thrown away.
They say actions speaks louder than words. It seems people tend to deny their actions. Denying with all their stubbornness, their ego, their pride.
So what does that mean? It means that they're lying. Lying for the sake of 'making things better'. Lying for the sake of their own pride. So high they held their noses, that they thought their lies were actually true. What they broke, they kept breaking. What they say want to avoid, they kept doing. Lies.
Enough said. I can't believe you actually said you loved me back then. No really. I can't. And I was stupid enough to believe. Damn. Damn stupid. How could I fall for someone like you? And still am till now? And still I cared for you so much? What the fucking fuck? I've gotta be crazy. And after all that.. I rather not mention here.
I'm just damn disappointed. Who am I to say how to you're suppose to be? Well, I am someone who loves you and care for you more than anything. Isn't that straightforward enough? Why I still care? Why I still get hurt? Of course I do. Won't you care for someone you love? Won't you get hurt seeing someone you love became someone else that you would rather stay away from? Why would you hurt someone you love? Its bullshit.
Why would you care? There isn't any love.
Hurt? Too bad. Not my problem. My life. Your life.
Its fun!
Sigh. Disappointment leads to anger for failing and not accomplishing a want, a need. I don't think you'll read this anyway. Have fun with your life. All the fun you want. Lets just end it. Loosing just 1 friend. Nothing much to you. More out there. We're strangers now. You're just a dream girl that I dreamt of for a good 5 months. Its all a dream. Nothing more.
Good luck with your studies and all the best for your scholarship. Remember your assignments and quiz. Don't smoke too much. I've stopped. You should, you're addicted. Drinking too. You're ugly when you're drunk, you know that?
And do take care of beaver.
.. I still love you.. but its a dream now..
