Fie for Thought
Its 530am and I'm still awake, feeling bored, no idea what to do. I'm home alone at home, family went to Malaysia, KL, for holiday. Its been sometime since I feel this loneliness. Went jogging alone, eat alone, watch TV alone, went out alone. Wonder if being alone is good or bad.
When you're alone, you tend to think about a lot of stuffs. Random or not. Makes you think. It also makes you feel what's inside of you, what your heart's saying. Its like taking a step away from the crowd and observe. Things that you've never notice suddenly became so visible. Little little details of life fuels your curiousity. You'll notice the beautiful clouds, the birds feeding, the cars moving from the distance, the sounds of leaves rustling, the direction of the breeze, the smell of the sea.
If you don't notice all these, maybe you're thinking of what that's need to be done, problems to be solved, things to remember, things that you should not have done, things you wanna do again.
Well if you think about these, then you'll just hate being lonely. Blocking out the everyday life routine and just relax. Get a nice cool drink, some nice music would be a bonus, and a peaceful place.
I guess a Virgo's life isn't that interesting eh? We think too much. Heh.
What is hidden, is meant to be found.
What is found, is meant to be treasured.
What is treasured, is meant to be kept safe.
As safe and treasured as it gets, to loose it is easy.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
Waffles and ice creams.
You can never get enough of them, can't you? =x
An end of something, the start of another.
It is time to adapt to the changes.
Or just ignore the changes and carry on living.
Either way, life still goes on.
There's no time to think much about anything nowadays.
Let alone share and discuss.
Work, studies, lifestyles.
There's just no time.
A hectic life we all live in.
Well, this is our life.
Only once we're gonna live it.
Lets not waste the time.
Do it once, do it good.
Full of learning, no regrets.
Filled with morals and sincerity, always on the bright side.
And suddenly, the bitch called life, isn't that bitchy after all.
A friend asked me about premonitions. The meaning of it.
pre·mo·ni·tion - A presentiment of the future; a foreboding.
- A warning in advance; a forewarning.
I made me think. Can each and everyone of us actually feel something was about to happen? Is our consciousness blinding us from our instincts?
Let me share with you something I felt while in Taiwan. As soon as I stepped into that camp, I don't feel good. Its like something's bothering me, making me restless. Sleepless nights, countless cigarettes. I felt uneasy. Something was gonna happen but I don't know what. How could I know? Maybe I'm just being emo? Or I'm just plain restless and bored. I can't be sure. That restlessness was at its peak the day before the accident happened.
I can't sleep the whole night. Smoked a pack of cigs. I just felt as if I need to get out of that place. Fast. I kept it to myself, fearing people might say I'm paranoid. The next day, hours before the accident, I suddenly calmed down. No more restless feeling. And I managed to sleep. When I woked up, I heard planes flying over. The 1st thought in my mind was "The planes are flying too low!" and the next thing I knew, BOOM! The whole bunk shook, and the accident happened, 50 meters from where I was. Coincidence?
I was shaken after that, but I try not to show it. Its frightening. To have felt it, and it happened. Mind you, its not the 1st time. And its not just about freak accidents, premonitions of anything that would cause hurt. There are other stories of premonitions, one of the most famous is the book of Nostradamus. He predicted quite a number of events that actually happen 400 years after he died.
So are we able to sense danger? I don't think anyone can answer that. I believe we can, only that we're not aware of it.
Hmm. Let me see. What did I do today, the 1st day I'm home all day since coming back from Taiwan?
Woke up and straight away played the guitar. Had lunch, fried spring chicken with rice. Played more guitar and singing, games. Evening, went jogging. Shouldn't have jogged long distance after so long. -.- Bad move. My legs.. Help...
Dinner, fried chicken wing and Hot Asam Fish (direct translation, asam pedas =x). Midnight, made dessert for the whole family, milkshakes!!!!! A slice of heaven in my 7th heaven.
Well, lets talk about this milkshake thingie as I know it'll make those who read this drool, except for Lyn of course. For my milkshake, I had 200ml of HL chocolate milk, 5 big scoops of chocolate chip ice cream, and a touch of full cream milk to add the.. err... lemakness.. I don't know what's the English word for that. Then, I blend them together in a blender on very low speed for 5 seconds. Viola! Heaven... Its so thick that the chocolate chips are floating around, waiting for me. And the air bubbles are stuck wherever they were. Heh heh.
Its good to be home.
*Relaxed*
Can't imagine so much could have happened in 2 weeks. Its too much to say it all out, so I'll use words to describe what I went through from start to end.
Planes.
Anxious + excitement.
Exhilarating take off.
Beautiful city lights.
Darkness.
Sunrise.
Puffy white clouds.
Dark misty clouds.
Farmlands.
Touchdown.
Right seated drivers.
Double decker buses.
Long roads.
Ping Nan.
Run down place.
Small living quarters.
Thin sponge bed.
Plastic covered pillows.
Half single bed size.
Dusty, spiders.
Cold, continuous rain.
Unpack.
3 days administrations.
Gear up.
Excited.
Aching to go.
Sunny cloudless day.
Morning move off.
Navigation starts.
Endless land.
Dead Black Dog.Up and down slopes/nulls.
Checkpoint to checkpoint.
Drinks, Sarsi, Super supau.
Cold night.
Backyard with carpet grass.
Old uncle with fruits.
Temperature, 12 degrees celsius.
Inner side of groudsheet wet.
Dewwy morning.
Maggie mee.
1996 breads.
Blisters, muscle aches, joint pain.
Last checkpoint.
Home sweet home.
Rest
Gear up.
Fake enemy.
Up on the null, by the sea.
Crazy winds.
Ground sheet kite.
Magic carpet.
Snakes.
Beatles.
Beautiful sunset.
Through the night.
Endless smoking.
Rest
Loud thunder.
Smoke.
Flames.
Panic.
Helicopters.
Ambulance.
Police.
Media.
4 dead, 2 critically injured.
Could have been worse.
Could have not wrote this entry.
2 courageous souls.
May you rest in peace.
Changed schedule and plans.
Continue mission.
Gear up.
Tonner trip.
Habour.
Insects.
Stink bug.
Caterpillars.
Centipede.
Burn 'em all.
Move off.
15km.
Up and down.
Reached, ferried.
2km.
Attack!
Stars, shooting stars, 3.
Wishes.
Dreamland.
Sniper's nest.
Fantastic view.
Sunrise.
Windmills.
Gigantic mountains.
Sunset, stars.
Midnight, move off.
1.5km.
Hit the jungle.
Down and up, steep.
Dark.
Reached.
Sneaking, proning, crawling.
Detected, attack, laughters.
Chilling out, cold wind.
16 degrees celsius.
Stars, fireworks, city lights.
Cigarettes.
Sunrise.
Speech, ending.
Running around, painting faces.
Laughters, smiles.
Taipei, here we come.
Double decker buses.
2hour ride.
Dinner, cigs, cute tour guide.
Night market.
Chi par!
Bubble teas.
Random pictures.
Random girls.
Knee hurts.
Fever.
Cab.
1 star hotel.
Dreamland.
Tour, museums, historical places.
Cute guides.
Lots of pictures.
Night, Taiwan's Orchard Road.
Shirt, jacket.
Laughters, food, clubbing.
Dancing, grapefruit, orange juice.
Girls.
Bikinis.
Drunken Feng.
Tired legs.
Random pictures.
Cab.
Hotel.
Dreamland.
Fever.
Sleep, rest, whole day.
TV.
Cup noodles.
Crackers.
Chips.
Doritos.
Milk.
Fat...
Cigs.
Airport.
Flew.
Slept.
Touchdown.
Grey Goose.
MacDs.
Home.
So yeah. You won't understand a thing but those who were with me will know what I'm talking about. ORD-ing soon. Gonna miss the guys. Was a great "outing" for us all. Memories to keep, grief to share, stories to tell, sceneries to frame. It'll be more fun if I share with you my stories face to face. An unforgettable experience indeed.
Things
Won't
Be
The
Same...
Never
Will
Be.
See you guys in 3 weeks.
Finally, its nearly over and I'm already starting to become a soundman. I've got job offers from Shure and JBL, and other places like SAFRA's radio, which is under Power98. So many that I'm actually spoilt for choice! But I've made up my mind that I'll start slow, and keep learning till I'm confident to move ahead on my own.
Had a good talk with my cousin's side's uncle. He's telling me about what I need to know and stuffs I have to learn. What courses I've got to take that will help me in my job. Courses = money and I don't have much. So I guess I'll work under him for awhile to earn the money. 1st lesson's on Thursday. At the same time, I'll send my resume to some of the companies. Resume's a bitch.
Gonna start a new life soon. Its exciting yet scary at the same time. I can't wait to do the work that I've always wanted to do, yet I'm afraid that I can't keep up. Hmm, I'll take it as a challenge then.
I don't know what to say. There are things that I know and I just kept quiet, whether its a happy thing or a sad thing. Things I expect or predict, and it happens. Even though I somehow knew stuffs are gonna happen, and everytime I'll hoped for it not to happen, it happened anyway and I can't help it but regret that I didn't do anything. Fuck, what am I saying. I hate to do something that affects someone else's life just because I think its good for them. Every life is entitled to its own freedom of choice, how they wanna live their life. Advises are meant as guidelines.
I've listened a lot, and I don't mind listening to more. I'm here to help anyone I am able to, in anyway I can. I don't expect anything except a smile on your face, or a lesson to be learn.
Some stuffs I kept to myself, for many reasons, are better off inside of me.
