Its disturbing when every single day, for months, without fail, you will think of a person. Everyday, the 1st thing when you woke up, the last thing before you sleep, is to think of that person. For months. Its not intentional. Its more like a bad habit, an addiction.

What's more distracting is that you don't want to see that person. No matter how much you missed him/her. Its like smoking. You want to quit, but can't, you just want to smoke more. The matter gets worse if you're a multi-tasker. You can keep yourself busy with work or have fun with friends, but you can never fully occupy your mind. Somewhere in your mind there'll be this small tiny space that just flashes you his/her name or face and there you go, distracted. So be happy if you're not a multi-tasker. Just seeing his/her name or saying it, will be difficult. There's this uneasy feeling inside that'll linger after you've said it.



Sigh. Never wanted to say this but yeah, I've been thinking of you ever since. Never had it faded, just me with the usual mask. Can never put it away, so I'll just live with it. I missed you, a lot, but I'll try to hold myself back from seeing you. Of course, I lost my grip on myself at times. Just seeing you thrilled me like mad inside, and watching you go felt so heavy, all hidden away nicely behind a dumb mask.

Oh well, every action has its consequences. Since this is the price to fall in love then I'll pay it. Ain't a stranger to debts anyway. Hopefully, it'll all be settled soon.

I feel like writing a song.  ¶ 11:58 PM