Fie for Thought
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
I guess I can no longer hold it back.
I missed you.
I missed the hugs,
the random kisses,
the open sniffs,
the Bambi eyes,
the random phone calls just to hear your voice,
the sleepy bus rides,
the long aimless walks.
I missed you.
I missed your meows,
the way you eat like a mouse,
the way you tried to cover up when you clumsily drop your food,
the way you stick out your tongue when I'm being mean,
the way you rest your head on my shoulders whenever you can,
the way you hide yourself from the world whenever you hugged me,
the way you looked at me when you're by my side.
I missed you,
I missed playing with your hair,
giving you kisses whenever no one's looking,
kissing your hand whenever I felt like it,
pulling you close to me and giving you a hug randomly,
holding you close, looking into your eyes and leave the world behind,
wiping your tears away and giving you comfort,
loving you like there's no tomorrow.
An open confession, of what I've always been thinking about nowadays. Kinda sad, and stupid. Well, that's me. Sad and stupid.
I missed you.
I missed the hugs,
the random kisses,
the open sniffs,
the Bambi eyes,
the random phone calls just to hear your voice,
the sleepy bus rides,
the long aimless walks.
I missed you.
I missed your meows,
the way you eat like a mouse,
the way you tried to cover up when you clumsily drop your food,
the way you stick out your tongue when I'm being mean,
the way you rest your head on my shoulders whenever you can,
the way you hide yourself from the world whenever you hugged me,
the way you looked at me when you're by my side.
I missed you,
I missed playing with your hair,
giving you kisses whenever no one's looking,
kissing your hand whenever I felt like it,
pulling you close to me and giving you a hug randomly,
holding you close, looking into your eyes and leave the world behind,
wiping your tears away and giving you comfort,
loving you like there's no tomorrow.
An open confession, of what I've always been thinking about nowadays. Kinda sad, and stupid. Well, that's me. Sad and stupid.
It says it all. Iron Maiden's 'Wasted Years'. The lyrics are simple yet true. Cheers to Maiden's most personal song.
Wasted Years
From the coast of gold, across the seven seas,
I'm travelling on, far and wide,
But now it seems, I'm just a stranger to myself,
And all the things I sometimes do, it isn't me but someone else.
I close my eyes, and think of home,
Another city goes by, in the night,
Ain't it funny how it is, you never miss it til it's gone away,
And my heart is lying there and will be til my dying day.
Chorus:
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up...make your stand,
And realise you're living in the golden years.
Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind,
Can't ease this pain, so easily,
When you can't find the words to say, it's hard to make it through another day,
And it makes me wanna cry, and throw my hands up to the sky.
Chorus:
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up...make your stand,
And realise you're living in the golden years.
__________________________________________________________________
Many more years to come, precious years wasted.
Golden years has passed, age of wisdom ahead.
Know the significant of life, face death.
Unknown treasures lay buried, unknown diamonds amongst the jems
Wasted Years
From the coast of gold, across the seven seas,
I'm travelling on, far and wide,
But now it seems, I'm just a stranger to myself,
And all the things I sometimes do, it isn't me but someone else.
I close my eyes, and think of home,
Another city goes by, in the night,
Ain't it funny how it is, you never miss it til it's gone away,
And my heart is lying there and will be til my dying day.
Chorus:
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up...make your stand,
And realise you're living in the golden years.
Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind,
Can't ease this pain, so easily,
When you can't find the words to say, it's hard to make it through another day,
And it makes me wanna cry, and throw my hands up to the sky.
Chorus:
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up...make your stand,
And realise you're living in the golden years.
__________________________________________________________________
Many more years to come, precious years wasted.
Golden years has passed, age of wisdom ahead.
Know the significant of life, face death.
Unknown treasures lay buried, unknown diamonds amongst the jems
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
I always wonder, what is it that she's thinking. What is it that's on her mind. Is there anything I could help her with? Should I help her? Should I even be thinking of helping her?
I wonder, I ponder, I just can't get my answer. So many questions I want to ask. So many things I wanted to say. But all I could do is to keep all of it at bay.
A fake mask is my only defence. A fragile defence that could crumble at the slightest of touches, yet strong enough to hide my emotions away.
I'm walking forward, yes I am. Looking backwards, every now and then. Breads of crumbs I left behind, for a faint hope that she will follow. How I pray that there would be light when she does.
My every bit of concern for her keeps me looking back, for I longed for her smile, every opportunity I get. A show of concern I did, where no one else could see. Useless and pointless as it is, I couldn't care less. My wish to be her guardian could only be granted by her.
For now, a wandering wonderer I shall wonder, with a trail of bread crumbs, slowly, decomposing away.
___________________________________________________________________
Cool poem. Enjoy it.
Destiny of the Macabre
All my life my destiny has been pre-ordained
Born with the mark of the devil, my path was to be of evil and the dark
Then I met another person of evil, from a different plane
Him, a creature of the night then on me he left the vampire's mark.
Then my morbid existence, was not only evil but of the macabre
Me, having to lurk in the darkness, as I searched for the liquid, I so desperately needed
Searching for unsuspecting victims, so from them, their life force, I could rob
The unquenchable thirst, that always had to be fed
For over a thousand years, I have lurked in the shadows of the macabre
Doing whatever I must, to feed my undying thirst
When I fed, my victims I would never listen to their dying cries and sobs
Always putting my needs, always putting them first.
Now, I live in the biggest city, I could find
Making my hunting ground, a vampire's dream
Oh, so many victims, it's hard to conceive within my evil mind
Each night, I make my pilgrimage, in this big city, murder and death, is part of nature or so it seems.
Try to catch me if you dare
You never will as I unleash my evil, it is my duty, in a way consider it my job
If I find you, I will transport you to the devil's lair
It is my path, it is my destiny of the macabre.
I wonder, I ponder, I just can't get my answer. So many questions I want to ask. So many things I wanted to say. But all I could do is to keep all of it at bay.
A fake mask is my only defence. A fragile defence that could crumble at the slightest of touches, yet strong enough to hide my emotions away.
I'm walking forward, yes I am. Looking backwards, every now and then. Breads of crumbs I left behind, for a faint hope that she will follow. How I pray that there would be light when she does.
My every bit of concern for her keeps me looking back, for I longed for her smile, every opportunity I get. A show of concern I did, where no one else could see. Useless and pointless as it is, I couldn't care less. My wish to be her guardian could only be granted by her.
For now, a wandering wonderer I shall wonder, with a trail of bread crumbs, slowly, decomposing away.
___________________________________________________________________
Cool poem. Enjoy it.
Destiny of the Macabre
All my life my destiny has been pre-ordained
Born with the mark of the devil, my path was to be of evil and the dark
Then I met another person of evil, from a different plane
Him, a creature of the night then on me he left the vampire's mark.
Then my morbid existence, was not only evil but of the macabre
Me, having to lurk in the darkness, as I searched for the liquid, I so desperately needed
Searching for unsuspecting victims, so from them, their life force, I could rob
The unquenchable thirst, that always had to be fed
For over a thousand years, I have lurked in the shadows of the macabre
Doing whatever I must, to feed my undying thirst
When I fed, my victims I would never listen to their dying cries and sobs
Always putting my needs, always putting them first.
Now, I live in the biggest city, I could find
Making my hunting ground, a vampire's dream
Oh, so many victims, it's hard to conceive within my evil mind
Each night, I make my pilgrimage, in this big city, murder and death, is part of nature or so it seems.
Try to catch me if you dare
You never will as I unleash my evil, it is my duty, in a way consider it my job
If I find you, I will transport you to the devil's lair
It is my path, it is my destiny of the macabre.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Sometimes I wonder why I can't be 'not nice' and just ignore stuffs. When I tried to, it just keeps appearing at the back of my head saying 'Don't be bad lah'. Then I'll feel guilty. Give for example, a tired counter person, had a bad day, serves me late and with a gloomy face. In normal case people would complain or just gave that 'wtf' look on their faces. Somehow I can't do this. Honestly, I'll still speak politely, smile and say 'Thank you'.
Yes, I do complain, like any other Singaporean, but I'll keep my complains and just try to understand the reason for these actions. I hate to piss someone off and making some gloomy counter person's day brighter politely and with a smile would go better with me then pick up an arguement or complain. If somehow I pissed someone, I'll sometimes ignore, but again, at the back of my mind, there's this voice saying 'Don't be bad lah'. Like what the hell.
Anyhow, I chatted up this girl on the lrt on the way back. Her name's Azizah. Just being friendly, being nice. Just talk to her about the jeans that she wore. Kinda nice. It has this rather faint fade at the front with the word 'A' on one of the pockets. Oh, its a grey jeans. So we talked about that then talk about what we're doing now and where we're from. She's from school at Laselle, then went out with her friends, who were in the lrt too. Didn't notice them till I was alighting. Waved goodbyes and I made my move. Kinda interesting. I guess I'll try that some other time again.
Casanova
I am not you're Casanova
Me and Romeo have never been friends
Can't you see how much I really love ya
Going to say it to you time and time again
Oh Casanova
Casanova
Every man deserves a good woman
And I want you to be my wife
Time is so much better spent baby
With a woman just like you in my life
So let me love you
Fill me up inside
I wanna hold you baby
So let me squeeze ya
Don't you know that i'll be on my knees for you baby
Oh baby
I am not you're Casanova
Me and Romeo have never been friends
Can't you see how much I really love ya
Going to say it to you time and time again
Oh Casanova
Casanova
Everytime i wanna see ya
I can't find the words to tell you so
But i love, i love, i love, i love, i love ya babe
And I just got to let you know
How much i need ya
Show you what you mean to me each day babe
Baby, baby, baby
Oh and when I told you
Girl I'm an average guy (an average guy)
You seem to know just how I really feel
Cuz I can't let you go
I need you, I want ya
Just stay right here with me
Oh baby I never knew love, till you came along
Oh Casanova
I am not you're Casanova
Me and Romeo have never been friends (oh baby)
Can't you see how much I really love ya
Going to say it to you time and time again
I am not you're Casanova
Me and Romeo have never been friends
Can't you see how much I really love ya
Going to say it to you time and time again
Oh Casanova
Casanova
___________________________________________________________________
Hmm. Something vampiric for the lot.
My Undying Thirst
I can never look in the mirror again.
At the face that did those horrible things.
Everyone will see my guilt because I've committed a sin.
All these bad feelings I just want to fling.
I don't think I can live with myself now,
Because of what the voice in my mind instructed me to do.
What possessed me, I have no clue,
Guilty feelings I have, I really do.
I still hear their cries and see the ungodly color of red,
The voice made me do this to quench his thirst.
The thirst to see someone stiff, cold, and dead,
Feeling so awful and bad I could burst.
The bodies they will never find,
Search high and low, I made sure of that.
Pleasure I got from this I must be out of my mind,
Getting pleasure from pain and evil's deep dark vat.
The yearning I have no control,
To see the red flow and hear their cries.
I have damned my very soul,
Stop me if you can, I dare you to try.
Yes, I do complain, like any other Singaporean, but I'll keep my complains and just try to understand the reason for these actions. I hate to piss someone off and making some gloomy counter person's day brighter politely and with a smile would go better with me then pick up an arguement or complain. If somehow I pissed someone, I'll sometimes ignore, but again, at the back of my mind, there's this voice saying 'Don't be bad lah'. Like what the hell.
Anyhow, I chatted up this girl on the lrt on the way back. Her name's Azizah. Just being friendly, being nice. Just talk to her about the jeans that she wore. Kinda nice. It has this rather faint fade at the front with the word 'A' on one of the pockets. Oh, its a grey jeans. So we talked about that then talk about what we're doing now and where we're from. She's from school at Laselle, then went out with her friends, who were in the lrt too. Didn't notice them till I was alighting. Waved goodbyes and I made my move. Kinda interesting. I guess I'll try that some other time again.
Casanova
I am not you're Casanova
Me and Romeo have never been friends
Can't you see how much I really love ya
Going to say it to you time and time again
Oh Casanova
Casanova
Every man deserves a good woman
And I want you to be my wife
Time is so much better spent baby
With a woman just like you in my life
So let me love you
Fill me up inside
I wanna hold you baby
So let me squeeze ya
Don't you know that i'll be on my knees for you baby
Oh baby
I am not you're Casanova
Me and Romeo have never been friends
Can't you see how much I really love ya
Going to say it to you time and time again
Oh Casanova
Casanova
Everytime i wanna see ya
I can't find the words to tell you so
But i love, i love, i love, i love, i love ya babe
And I just got to let you know
How much i need ya
Show you what you mean to me each day babe
Baby, baby, baby
Oh and when I told you
Girl I'm an average guy (an average guy)
You seem to know just how I really feel
Cuz I can't let you go
I need you, I want ya
Just stay right here with me
Oh baby I never knew love, till you came along
Oh Casanova
I am not you're Casanova
Me and Romeo have never been friends (oh baby)
Can't you see how much I really love ya
Going to say it to you time and time again
I am not you're Casanova
Me and Romeo have never been friends
Can't you see how much I really love ya
Going to say it to you time and time again
Oh Casanova
Casanova
___________________________________________________________________
Hmm. Something vampiric for the lot.
My Undying Thirst
I can never look in the mirror again.
At the face that did those horrible things.
Everyone will see my guilt because I've committed a sin.
All these bad feelings I just want to fling.
I don't think I can live with myself now,
Because of what the voice in my mind instructed me to do.
What possessed me, I have no clue,
Guilty feelings I have, I really do.
I still hear their cries and see the ungodly color of red,
The voice made me do this to quench his thirst.
The thirst to see someone stiff, cold, and dead,
Feeling so awful and bad I could burst.
The bodies they will never find,
Search high and low, I made sure of that.
Pleasure I got from this I must be out of my mind,
Getting pleasure from pain and evil's deep dark vat.
The yearning I have no control,
To see the red flow and hear their cries.
I have damned my very soul,
Stop me if you can, I dare you to try.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Hmm. I promised someone I'll wrote something tonight. Well, here it is then. An inspiration by looking at a smile.
Smile
Things are present yet out of sight,
problems are hidden unless brought to light.
Feelings are buried or least suppressed,
Happy are those whose emotions are expressed.
A smile is a tonic for the down-hearted,
a sedative for those who have parted.
A friendship kindles with a spark of attraction,
be aware of external distractions.
Some things are caged, to be found out,
kept locked up until frustration shouts.
Release the hurts and joys of existence,
true love prevails with a little persistence
Love for the small as for the big,
from the very roots, to the end of a twig.
Everything and nothing, in life, is fair,
the secret is one's SMILE, look - it’s there.
Smile
Things are present yet out of sight,
problems are hidden unless brought to light.
Feelings are buried or least suppressed,
Happy are those whose emotions are expressed.
A smile is a tonic for the down-hearted,
a sedative for those who have parted.
A friendship kindles with a spark of attraction,
be aware of external distractions.
Some things are caged, to be found out,
kept locked up until frustration shouts.
Release the hurts and joys of existence,
true love prevails with a little persistence
Love for the small as for the big,
from the very roots, to the end of a twig.
Everything and nothing, in life, is fair,
the secret is one's SMILE, look - it’s there.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
I saw the most beautiful thing today.
Tucked inside a shivery world, amongst others of its kind.
It's purity captivate me for a few seconds, blocking out the outside world.
Its beauty, just awesome.
Such a simple thing, can be so pulchritudinous.
I didn't dare to disturb its beauty,
Removing it from its slumber.
Such beauty could only be given to angels.
My, my.. What a lovely white rose.
___________________________________________________________________
A song by Mr. Big, covered by Seok Yhee's band. She sang it beautifully.
The Whole World Is Gonna Know.
Your secret is safe
I'll keep it on the inside
Cover your play, makin' up a white lie
I can't complain
She's finally off of my back
I shoulda know better
She came in from the wrong side of the tracks
I'll keep my mouth shut
Nothing else I can do
At the rate that you're going
Baby, pretty soon
The whole world is gonna know
The whole world is gonna know
Wat you've done to me
The whole world is gonna know
The whole world is gonna know all about it, baby
I used to be as foolish as the last guy
I made up my mind
There'll never be a next time, no
Now that you're done with all your fake affection
So many like me, you know
They're getting wise to your deception
Nothing I can do
Tucked inside a shivery world, amongst others of its kind.
It's purity captivate me for a few seconds, blocking out the outside world.
Its beauty, just awesome.
Such a simple thing, can be so pulchritudinous.
I didn't dare to disturb its beauty,
Removing it from its slumber.
Such beauty could only be given to angels.
My, my.. What a lovely white rose.
___________________________________________________________________
A song by Mr. Big, covered by Seok Yhee's band. She sang it beautifully.
The Whole World Is Gonna Know.
Your secret is safe
I'll keep it on the inside
Cover your play, makin' up a white lie
I can't complain
She's finally off of my back
I shoulda know better
She came in from the wrong side of the tracks
I'll keep my mouth shut
Nothing else I can do
At the rate that you're going
Baby, pretty soon
The whole world is gonna know
The whole world is gonna know
Wat you've done to me
The whole world is gonna know
The whole world is gonna know all about it, baby
I used to be as foolish as the last guy
I made up my mind
There'll never be a next time, no
Now that you're done with all your fake affection
So many like me, you know
They're getting wise to your deception
Nothing I can do
Saturday, December 16, 2006
I shall blog like a mat today.
Alamak. Today I terrible sial. Start of the day go meet Lyn in town, and I'm late after knowing that she hates to wait. Teruk sial. Then after that she followed me go looksy looksy at clothes and stuffs. Like what sial. I bet she was bored to the max. =/ Then after walking around town we go sit down at wheelock to drink. Oh the Blackberry Fantasy cheesecake is power lah dhey.
After that we both don't know what to do. Bodoh sia me. Ask people out then halfway no plans. End up we go to Marina Square for awhile then after that head off. Boring right sial? Thank you Lyn for putting up with me. =/
After that I went to jam with Yk's campmate's band, as a drummer. They played old school punk music. Sheesh, I suck lah. Can't play drums properly for shit. Felt damn malu sial. They bring their girlfriends somemore. Even more malu. The funny thing is that they still want me to drum! Err. Yeah. What the? Gah. I miss TEG. I wanna jam! =(
___________________________________________________________________
This is the lyrics of our new original. Worked halfway on it. Yay. =)
Lyrics by Jason.
The truth of war
One more day as the tanks keep rolling
One more moment till the bullets fly
One more shout as the armed keep marching
One more bloodshed and a thousand cries
One more night as the darkness creeps in
One more prayer to survive
One more shadow as the sun is setting
One more sunrise to stay alive
March, march to the land of the free
Or a land that was bought at a price?
Fight, fight in the name of the wicked
For a purpose that’s blinded our eyes?
Conquer, conquer with the strength of thousands
With a might that can’t be denied
Triumph, triumph in this war you fight for
In the war that was simply a lie
The bodies lie in a mangled mess
The stench of blood in the wind
The silent weeping as the children cry
A haunting picture in their minds
As we march to the top of the city
The fires burn down below
The cry of victory and its pouring pride
I guess we’ll never know
Alamak. Today I terrible sial. Start of the day go meet Lyn in town, and I'm late after knowing that she hates to wait. Teruk sial. Then after that she followed me go looksy looksy at clothes and stuffs. Like what sial. I bet she was bored to the max. =/ Then after walking around town we go sit down at wheelock to drink. Oh the Blackberry Fantasy cheesecake is power lah dhey.
After that we both don't know what to do. Bodoh sia me. Ask people out then halfway no plans. End up we go to Marina Square for awhile then after that head off. Boring right sial? Thank you Lyn for putting up with me. =/
After that I went to jam with Yk's campmate's band, as a drummer. They played old school punk music. Sheesh, I suck lah. Can't play drums properly for shit. Felt damn malu sial. They bring their girlfriends somemore. Even more malu. The funny thing is that they still want me to drum! Err. Yeah. What the? Gah. I miss TEG. I wanna jam! =(
___________________________________________________________________
This is the lyrics of our new original. Worked halfway on it. Yay. =)
Lyrics by Jason.
The truth of war
One more day as the tanks keep rolling
One more moment till the bullets fly
One more shout as the armed keep marching
One more bloodshed and a thousand cries
One more night as the darkness creeps in
One more prayer to survive
One more shadow as the sun is setting
One more sunrise to stay alive
March, march to the land of the free
Or a land that was bought at a price?
Fight, fight in the name of the wicked
For a purpose that’s blinded our eyes?
Conquer, conquer with the strength of thousands
With a might that can’t be denied
Triumph, triumph in this war you fight for
In the war that was simply a lie
The bodies lie in a mangled mess
The stench of blood in the wind
The silent weeping as the children cry
A haunting picture in their minds
As we march to the top of the city
The fires burn down below
The cry of victory and its pouring pride
I guess we’ll never know
Friday, December 15, 2006
Have you ever had a period of time where you don't know what your brain is trying to think about? Its totally in a mess that you can't really see what you are actually think about and all you can do is just sit and listen to the music that's playing.
Haha. Yes, it sounds nonsensical, but its happening to me. As I'm typing now, my head's thinking of stuffs - from music to heart matters to NS. But I can't pinpoint what exactly I'm thinking about. I give ya an example. I play the guitar, say playing heaven and hell, I'm concentrating on the guitar but there are things in my head that's thinking of other stuffs. Like a background program running in your computer and lags it but you don't know what program is it. Weird? I think so. I can't multitask now, will lag.
With all these happening, of course, I'll get confused sometimes. Don't know what I wanna do, where I wanna go. Oh well, maybe tiring myself out could help. Ciao.
___________________________________________________________________
Crushed Red
The moon hangs still
In the red
Against the dark of
The starless night
Like a long since
Murdered marionette
Levitating
No strings attached
Life dripping
Listless from beneath
The crushed wishes
Of the heart
Like pressed blood roses
Eternally precious
Untouchable
Their elixir lies
As if under glass
Impenetrable
Forever
Haha. Yes, it sounds nonsensical, but its happening to me. As I'm typing now, my head's thinking of stuffs - from music to heart matters to NS. But I can't pinpoint what exactly I'm thinking about. I give ya an example. I play the guitar, say playing heaven and hell, I'm concentrating on the guitar but there are things in my head that's thinking of other stuffs. Like a background program running in your computer and lags it but you don't know what program is it. Weird? I think so. I can't multitask now, will lag.
With all these happening, of course, I'll get confused sometimes. Don't know what I wanna do, where I wanna go. Oh well, maybe tiring myself out could help. Ciao.
___________________________________________________________________
Crushed Red
The moon hangs still
In the red
Against the dark of
The starless night
Like a long since
Murdered marionette
Levitating
No strings attached
Life dripping
Listless from beneath
The crushed wishes
Of the heart
Like pressed blood roses
Eternally precious
Untouchable
Their elixir lies
As if under glass
Impenetrable
Forever
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Hmm. Been awhile since I post something proper. Heh. Well, went out with Sebas to see clothes. End up buying a pair of jeans from Zara. Uber nice. New arrival though. Met up with Poh Seng and Aik Hou near Cineleisure. They're going a friend's fashion show or something. Great to see them again.
After that met up with Yk after he had cut his hair and off we go to play some lan-gaming. Then went home, was raining damn heavily. Lucky for me I brought my jacket. A chill day. A nice day.
Got to know this nice girl from a website. She got this smile that kinda left me flabbergast. I don't know about you but she'd got one hell of a smile.
Thanks for letting me upload your pic here Nas.
___________________________________________________________________
Beautiful song. Angelic voice. Awe-inspiring lyrics.
Broken
Sonata Arctica
I was raised from a broken seed, I grew up to be an unwanted weed.
Ever faster the time exceeds me, little harder again to remember...you.
Held a torch for you, when lightning stroke me, once again, hope I died for the last time.
Only one I have a thing greater than you, little light on the sky, every night.
Morning dew on the field, where I met you.
I was frozen a year, couldn't get through.
Got a sign, not a scar, on my shoulder, I am not quite the man you take me for...
Fell in love with the weakness within me.
Tried to force me the Ring and own me.
Guess you found what you'd think would oblige me, little version of me to consume you...
I'd give my everything to you, follow you through the garden of oblivion.
If only I could tell you everything, the little things you'll never dare to ask me...
Do you really know me? - I might be a God.
Show me that you care and have a cry.
How do you see me? - ... as the one?
Can you see my blood when I'm bleeding.
How can you love this exile, and how could I desire you.
When my pain is my pain and your is too...
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
Seven lifes of a man, passed before me.
Seven graves, one for every love I've had.
Only once I have broken my so called heart.
Only one made me see why they cry.
Will I learn how to be one of you someday?
Will I still feel the eyes that behold me.
Will I hear what you think, when you see me?
Will it tear me apart if you feel for me...
I 'd give my everything to you, follow you through the garden of oblivion.
If only I could tell you everything, the little things you'll never dare to ask me...
Do you really know me? - I might be a God.
Show me that you care and have a cry.
How do you see me? - ... as the one?
Can you see my blood when I'm bleeding.
How can you love this exile, and how could I desire you.
When my pain is my pain and your is too...
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
Little broken , always been, a part of you belongs to me.
You were never mine to love, but this all has made it easy for me...
Burning feathers, not an angel, Heaven's closed , Hell's sold out.
So I walk on the earth, behind the curtains, hidden from everyone,
until I find a new life to ruin again
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
After that met up with Yk after he had cut his hair and off we go to play some lan-gaming. Then went home, was raining damn heavily. Lucky for me I brought my jacket. A chill day. A nice day.
Got to know this nice girl from a website. She got this smile that kinda left me flabbergast. I don't know about you but she'd got one hell of a smile.
Thanks for letting me upload your pic here Nas.
___________________________________________________________________
Beautiful song. Angelic voice. Awe-inspiring lyrics.
Broken
Sonata Arctica
I was raised from a broken seed, I grew up to be an unwanted weed.
Ever faster the time exceeds me, little harder again to remember...you.
Held a torch for you, when lightning stroke me, once again, hope I died for the last time.
Only one I have a thing greater than you, little light on the sky, every night.
Morning dew on the field, where I met you.
I was frozen a year, couldn't get through.
Got a sign, not a scar, on my shoulder, I am not quite the man you take me for...
Fell in love with the weakness within me.
Tried to force me the Ring and own me.
Guess you found what you'd think would oblige me, little version of me to consume you...
I'd give my everything to you, follow you through the garden of oblivion.
If only I could tell you everything, the little things you'll never dare to ask me...
Do you really know me? - I might be a God.
Show me that you care and have a cry.
How do you see me? - ... as the one?
Can you see my blood when I'm bleeding.
How can you love this exile, and how could I desire you.
When my pain is my pain and your is too...
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
Seven lifes of a man, passed before me.
Seven graves, one for every love I've had.
Only once I have broken my so called heart.
Only one made me see why they cry.
Will I learn how to be one of you someday?
Will I still feel the eyes that behold me.
Will I hear what you think, when you see me?
Will it tear me apart if you feel for me...
I 'd give my everything to you, follow you through the garden of oblivion.
If only I could tell you everything, the little things you'll never dare to ask me...
Do you really know me? - I might be a God.
Show me that you care and have a cry.
How do you see me? - ... as the one?
Can you see my blood when I'm bleeding.
How can you love this exile, and how could I desire you.
When my pain is my pain and your is too...
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
Little broken , always been, a part of you belongs to me.
You were never mine to love, but this all has made it easy for me...
Burning feathers, not an angel, Heaven's closed , Hell's sold out.
So I walk on the earth, behind the curtains, hidden from everyone,
until I find a new life to ruin again
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Dream, a poetic dream............. Oh well. Lets go.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just run. Run to nowhere. Run till our legs could run no more.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just swim. Swim to an island. Swim with the dolphins, let their cheerful self bring smiles to our faces.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just take a stroll. Stroll aimlessly. Stroll till sunset, hand in hand, blissfully.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just sit. Sit quietly. Sit together, in arms, without a worry, without doubt.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just go. Go far away. Go to a place where birds sang beautifully, the wind play with the leaves, the sea just being lazy.
Hey, come on. Hold my hand. We'll get there, together. Don't be afraid. I won't let go.
Such dreams, are just meant to be dreams.
___________________________________________________________________
She Burns Without Fire
Once she yearned for sunlight’s kiss.
Captivated by bliss, off she sought to beget
Her paradise, blinded by naivete.
By the Sun was she met, her deepest desire, and yet,
Basking in her nakedness, waiting to be fulfilled,
Fire and brimstone the cruel sun willed.
Fire thirsts, drinks her skin,
Maims her pure soul, clean of sin.
Fire Ceased, but the pain increased.
She burns still.
I watch her now, cigarette in hand,
Writhing on the pale white sand, I watch her.
In mock concern, the angels gather
To the sound of her silent screams.
Yet they dare not end such a fun-filled spectacle.
Heavenly Applause rings, a cherub sings,
As we watch her tear her heart out
To end the Agony she could no longer bear.
I watch her bleeding heart beat.
I watch her flailing madly,
Charred white sand mixes with dark blood.
Sweet searing sensations wrack her body, but there is no fire.
Death’s shadow looms; the angels disperse.
She and Death Converse.
Death hackles as she haggles for release, but Death wouldn’t take her.
Said it’s funny but she’s already in Hell, instead he rapes her.
I watch her render brokenness obsolete.
Death’s deed is done. I watch her now alone.
Absent fire meets flesh; flesh dissolves to bone.
I watch her rise; in blind fervor berates her sun.
Angels return to sing an elegy in response.
I watch her wailing in hysteria.
In my madness I take her up in my arms.
We slow dance to the ballad of her screams.
I savor every sweet pirouette
As shreds of her tattered soul unfurl,
Gashing upon the fringes of my jagged heart.
The glimmer of her hollowed eyes fades,
Just as the slivers of her quintessence languish in twilight.
My cigarette, long forgotten, singes my skin.
Ashes mingle with blood familiar.
Oddly enough, I smile.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just run. Run to nowhere. Run till our legs could run no more.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just swim. Swim to an island. Swim with the dolphins, let their cheerful self bring smiles to our faces.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just take a stroll. Stroll aimlessly. Stroll till sunset, hand in hand, blissfully.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just sit. Sit quietly. Sit together, in arms, without a worry, without doubt.
Hey, come on. Lets go. Lets just go. Go far away. Go to a place where birds sang beautifully, the wind play with the leaves, the sea just being lazy.
Hey, come on. Hold my hand. We'll get there, together. Don't be afraid. I won't let go.
Such dreams, are just meant to be dreams.
___________________________________________________________________
She Burns Without Fire
Once she yearned for sunlight’s kiss.
Captivated by bliss, off she sought to beget
Her paradise, blinded by naivete.
By the Sun was she met, her deepest desire, and yet,
Basking in her nakedness, waiting to be fulfilled,
Fire and brimstone the cruel sun willed.
Fire thirsts, drinks her skin,
Maims her pure soul, clean of sin.
Fire Ceased, but the pain increased.
She burns still.
I watch her now, cigarette in hand,
Writhing on the pale white sand, I watch her.
In mock concern, the angels gather
To the sound of her silent screams.
Yet they dare not end such a fun-filled spectacle.
Heavenly Applause rings, a cherub sings,
As we watch her tear her heart out
To end the Agony she could no longer bear.
I watch her bleeding heart beat.
I watch her flailing madly,
Charred white sand mixes with dark blood.
Sweet searing sensations wrack her body, but there is no fire.
Death’s shadow looms; the angels disperse.
She and Death Converse.
Death hackles as she haggles for release, but Death wouldn’t take her.
Said it’s funny but she’s already in Hell, instead he rapes her.
I watch her render brokenness obsolete.
Death’s deed is done. I watch her now alone.
Absent fire meets flesh; flesh dissolves to bone.
I watch her rise; in blind fervor berates her sun.
Angels return to sing an elegy in response.
I watch her wailing in hysteria.
In my madness I take her up in my arms.
We slow dance to the ballad of her screams.
I savor every sweet pirouette
As shreds of her tattered soul unfurl,
Gashing upon the fringes of my jagged heart.
The glimmer of her hollowed eyes fades,
Just as the slivers of her quintessence languish in twilight.
My cigarette, long forgotten, singes my skin.
Ashes mingle with blood familiar.
Oddly enough, I smile.
I listened, I kept quiet. I see, without looking. I grieved, I smiled.
Antecedent, unknown. Plight, unfathomable. Perplexity, I preceived.
Freedom, I requisite. Euphoria, I pursue. Tranquility, my aspiration.
...
___________________________________________________________________
A Lovely Night
The warm air is my blanket that I nestle against
The night sky is my velvet, diamond-studded quilt
The soft, smooth grass is my silk-and-feather pillow
The brightly lit moon is my guidance through the night
The wind is my lullaby, soft, gentle, soothing, calming
It’s a lovely night
I am almost to fall asleep
Mother Night is ready to kiss me goodnight
The sandman is on his way
The moon rises and the sun sets
It's my favorite time of day
It's a lovely night
As the night sky becomes blurrier
My lullaby seems to pick up pace
My silk-and-feather pillow rustles
My guidance dies down
My blanket colder
The lovely night becomes scarier
I lose vision
I lose hearing
I lose feeling
I lose guidance
I lose warmth
I lose my favorite time of day
I lose my lovely night
When the night of nightmares end
And the sun rises
The day dawns
And the night dusks
My lovely night is done and gone
My vision regained
My hearing restored
My feeling revived
My guidance replenished
My warmth back in my heart
I have still lost my favorite time of day
I have still lost my lovely night
Though my senses restored
And back in my heart
I am loyal to my nights
I am ready to meet it again
I am ready for my
Lovely night
Antecedent, unknown. Plight, unfathomable. Perplexity, I preceived.
Freedom, I requisite. Euphoria, I pursue. Tranquility, my aspiration.
...
___________________________________________________________________
A Lovely Night
The warm air is my blanket that I nestle against
The night sky is my velvet, diamond-studded quilt
The soft, smooth grass is my silk-and-feather pillow
The brightly lit moon is my guidance through the night
The wind is my lullaby, soft, gentle, soothing, calming
It’s a lovely night
I am almost to fall asleep
Mother Night is ready to kiss me goodnight
The sandman is on his way
The moon rises and the sun sets
It's my favorite time of day
It's a lovely night
As the night sky becomes blurrier
My lullaby seems to pick up pace
My silk-and-feather pillow rustles
My guidance dies down
My blanket colder
The lovely night becomes scarier
I lose vision
I lose hearing
I lose feeling
I lose guidance
I lose warmth
I lose my favorite time of day
I lose my lovely night
When the night of nightmares end
And the sun rises
The day dawns
And the night dusks
My lovely night is done and gone
My vision regained
My hearing restored
My feeling revived
My guidance replenished
My warmth back in my heart
I have still lost my favorite time of day
I have still lost my lovely night
Though my senses restored
And back in my heart
I am loyal to my nights
I am ready to meet it again
I am ready for my
Lovely night
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Hmmm. At last I'm home, after a week in camp. Lets see, where do I start? Oh yeah. The band. Guys, I have to be honest. I watched the gig video in camp. I'm not satisfied at our performance. We suck. Yeah. We do. Its time to improve dudes. Yeah, I know NS and school are disrupting our progress, and the fact that the damn-it-so-little free time we had when we're out on our off days/weekends. Although we can't jam together often but I do ask from all of you just take a little time to improve yourself in any means. Improving not just playing with your instruments, but learning about music.
For example, in camp, the only stuff I had for music was my Ipod, my spoilt accoustic guitar and campmates. I made use of songs and, well, tried to learn to sing. Somehow it improves my sensitivity to tone and notes. A little improvement, but I'm happy I improved. I hope you guys could find a way too.
Yk, go play the guitar more dude. You have the talent. You have the skills and the hearing. You have the feel. Pick that guitar. Go online or something and read up about playing the guitar rather than gadgets and equipments for the guitar. You have tonnes of those. Now concentrate on your playing. You're a much better guitarist.
Wan, I know you love the bass. Its time to be wild with the bass and learn more about it too. You, too, got the talent, the hearing. The way I see you play the same notes at different places of your bass so comfortably, even when you change the tuning of your guitar, it just amazes me. Get back to the bass. Lets make music.
Jason, its stressful in camp, especially in your position. I understand dude. The lyrics you composed was superb and the ideas you came up with are funky. I do read your blog. Come'on dude. You being emotional and you're attachment to God could be the key to making awesome lyrics! I know you can do it. Divert the stress, the emotions and exhaustion to lyrics. You're not pointless. You're full of points.
Sorry guys for saying these. I suck so bad that I got fed up and wanna improve, and I wanna push you guys too. I can't help it looking at other bands going far and making it, while we are stuck here. Having a singer or not, we just have to keep going. Hard, its true but I don't see why we can't do it. Drop the pride. Lets just take it that we suck. A motivation for us to improve. OK? We suck. Suck balls. Prove that's wrong. Last words, drop the pride, lets re-ignite our fire again ok?
I went to a gig last night and I heard the band I came to watch play. They didn't know how to use effects, they don't know how to adjust the amp's simple equalizer(they don't know what are treble, mids and bass) but they've got talent in playing the guitar. I was so damn tempted to help them adjust their sound but didn't have the guts. Well, I managed to adjust for one of the guitarist in between one of their songs. Gah! I can't wait to start my Soundman job.
___________________________________________________________________
Creatures of the Night
The wind seems to violently blow
As I see the shadows of the trees dancing in the moonlight
In the reflection of the pond the moon seems to glow
The illumination of the moon seems very bright.
Listen! Quiet! You can hear them sing
The creatures of the night singing their hideous song
The silence of the night their voices sting
They sing their song in unison as if to a choir they belong.
The song they sing you would think they are sad
But you must understand why they sing
Trying to say in their existence they are glad
Creatures of the night to your song forever cling.
You make the darkness of the night seem alive
Each of you singing in your own different way
Oh, the song of the night of this please of me never deprive
It's like I understand everything they say.
I love these sounds as they echo in the air
Listening to them I feel no fear or fright
My dear friends sound as if they haven't a care
For this I know because I too am a creature of the night.
For example, in camp, the only stuff I had for music was my Ipod, my spoilt accoustic guitar and campmates. I made use of songs and, well, tried to learn to sing. Somehow it improves my sensitivity to tone and notes. A little improvement, but I'm happy I improved. I hope you guys could find a way too.
Yk, go play the guitar more dude. You have the talent. You have the skills and the hearing. You have the feel. Pick that guitar. Go online or something and read up about playing the guitar rather than gadgets and equipments for the guitar. You have tonnes of those. Now concentrate on your playing. You're a much better guitarist.
Wan, I know you love the bass. Its time to be wild with the bass and learn more about it too. You, too, got the talent, the hearing. The way I see you play the same notes at different places of your bass so comfortably, even when you change the tuning of your guitar, it just amazes me. Get back to the bass. Lets make music.
Jason, its stressful in camp, especially in your position. I understand dude. The lyrics you composed was superb and the ideas you came up with are funky. I do read your blog. Come'on dude. You being emotional and you're attachment to God could be the key to making awesome lyrics! I know you can do it. Divert the stress, the emotions and exhaustion to lyrics. You're not pointless. You're full of points.
Sorry guys for saying these. I suck so bad that I got fed up and wanna improve, and I wanna push you guys too. I can't help it looking at other bands going far and making it, while we are stuck here. Having a singer or not, we just have to keep going. Hard, its true but I don't see why we can't do it. Drop the pride. Lets just take it that we suck. A motivation for us to improve. OK? We suck. Suck balls. Prove that's wrong. Last words, drop the pride, lets re-ignite our fire again ok?
I went to a gig last night and I heard the band I came to watch play. They didn't know how to use effects, they don't know how to adjust the amp's simple equalizer(they don't know what are treble, mids and bass) but they've got talent in playing the guitar. I was so damn tempted to help them adjust their sound but didn't have the guts. Well, I managed to adjust for one of the guitarist in between one of their songs. Gah! I can't wait to start my Soundman job.
___________________________________________________________________
Creatures of the Night
The wind seems to violently blow
As I see the shadows of the trees dancing in the moonlight
In the reflection of the pond the moon seems to glow
The illumination of the moon seems very bright.
Listen! Quiet! You can hear them sing
The creatures of the night singing their hideous song
The silence of the night their voices sting
They sing their song in unison as if to a choir they belong.
The song they sing you would think they are sad
But you must understand why they sing
Trying to say in their existence they are glad
Creatures of the night to your song forever cling.
You make the darkness of the night seem alive
Each of you singing in your own different way
Oh, the song of the night of this please of me never deprive
It's like I understand everything they say.
I love these sounds as they echo in the air
Listening to them I feel no fear or fright
My dear friends sound as if they haven't a care
For this I know because I too am a creature of the night.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Amazing how a picture could astonish you by its beauty, no matter how simple it is. The little girl with an injured thumb eating ice cream, too shy to look at the camera. The little boy looking curiously, at the busker playing his instruments. Abyssal thoughts, stared out to space.
Photography, I'm in love again.
__________________________________________________________________
Crimson Roses
In the pit of wisdom's cove,
Marking beast on tethered soul.
Lies encircle… peace evades,
Seeking glory… endless rage.
Happened to me…
Suffered alone…
Opened to see…
Crowded throne…
Carnal wages left unpaid,
Laws enforced… Be Afraid.
Crimson roses, unveiled too soon,
Rise to greet the next full moon.
Power seeks to empty strength,
Forever bound, for timeless length.
To drain the life from history,
Dredge onward… embrace the mystery.
Seek ye faith, never waiver…
Stones thrown in haste mortally wound.
For every breath we draw and saver,
A dying rose is left unbloomed.
Journey long… intense… can't breathe,
Sharpened tongue, banished sheathe.
Fallen whispers, visions distorted,
Prey not, thy wisdom go… unreported.
Photography, I'm in love again.
__________________________________________________________________
Crimson Roses
In the pit of wisdom's cove,
Marking beast on tethered soul.
Lies encircle… peace evades,
Seeking glory… endless rage.
Happened to me…
Suffered alone…
Opened to see…
Crowded throne…
Carnal wages left unpaid,
Laws enforced… Be Afraid.
Crimson roses, unveiled too soon,
Rise to greet the next full moon.
Power seeks to empty strength,
Forever bound, for timeless length.
To drain the life from history,
Dredge onward… embrace the mystery.
Seek ye faith, never waiver…
Stones thrown in haste mortally wound.
For every breath we draw and saver,
A dying rose is left unbloomed.
Journey long… intense… can't breathe,
Sharpened tongue, banished sheathe.
Fallen whispers, visions distorted,
Prey not, thy wisdom go… unreported.
