Fie for Thought
Thursday, September 28, 2006
This has got to be one of the stupidiest injury I've ever had and its probably the most serious of all. I'VE INJURE MY LEFT PINKY! HOW TO PLAY GUITAR!!! Yes. You've read it right. Some dumb security uncle go off the dumb escalator while I was on it going up. The dumb thing suddenly stopped moving and I lost my balance falling forward. AND I landed on my pinky 1st. How nice isn't it? !@#$%^! I just hope it'll be ok ASAP!
Gah. Anyway, went to look for the black T-shirts with Wan. We are just a couple of hyperactive, totally mad guys today for some reason. Basically we're just babbling nonsense and Lol-ing all the way. I think fasting really makes us crazier. Got the shirts at Fareast. We were crazy enough to talk cock with the sales girl till she go "Eh you're friend ok anot?" to Wan. Then we went over to art friend to find some arcylic paint for the shirts. Bought purple for Jason, white for Yk, Wan's yellow(Wan the bear) and me red. Now we've got a problem. Still don't know how to design and write the words on the shirts. Scared to make mistake. Heh. =>
Yay, borrowed 3 books, thanks to Wan. He goes around the library scanning his IC at the fine payment machine over and over again. How fun is that. You should try it too.
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Saw this at a website. Kinda nice. Enjoy.
The Branding Iron
Love, a fleeting memory in time,
A scattering of barren desert sand
A poem, beyond reason, lacking rhyme
She's fool's gold... slipping through an empty hand
She brandishes an iron whose lava flows
To rivers that by nature surely part
Alone each one emits a fainter glow
Why has love stamped her cross upon my heart?
She masquerades as crucifix or crown,
distinguishes herself as the hand of fate.
She claims your heart when your defense is down,
then changes fast her name to that of Hate.
Gah. Anyway, went to look for the black T-shirts with Wan. We are just a couple of hyperactive, totally mad guys today for some reason. Basically we're just babbling nonsense and Lol-ing all the way. I think fasting really makes us crazier. Got the shirts at Fareast. We were crazy enough to talk cock with the sales girl till she go "Eh you're friend ok anot?" to Wan. Then we went over to art friend to find some arcylic paint for the shirts. Bought purple for Jason, white for Yk, Wan's yellow(Wan the bear) and me red. Now we've got a problem. Still don't know how to design and write the words on the shirts. Scared to make mistake. Heh. =>
Yay, borrowed 3 books, thanks to Wan. He goes around the library scanning his IC at the fine payment machine over and over again. How fun is that. You should try it too.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saw this at a website. Kinda nice. Enjoy.
The Branding Iron
Love, a fleeting memory in time,
A scattering of barren desert sand
A poem, beyond reason, lacking rhyme
She's fool's gold... slipping through an empty hand
She brandishes an iron whose lava flows
To rivers that by nature surely part
Alone each one emits a fainter glow
Why has love stamped her cross upon my heart?
She masquerades as crucifix or crown,
distinguishes herself as the hand of fate.
She claims your heart when your defense is down,
then changes fast her name to that of Hate.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Back from camp. Hmmm. Felt lighter. Cause I lost 5 kg in 2 weeks +! MUAHAHAHA! Take that you weight loosing suckerS! Err. Ok. Didn't mean to say that =X Lol.
Anyway, yeah I'm feeling a little lighter now. Carried my burdens rather than dragging them behind me. So renewed with energy, I'm hyper at 130am after just 4 hours of sleep in 3 days. Damn. But I feel ok though. Strange.
Books are just the greatest thing around now for me to just be in my own world. They just use up all my brain resources to imagine and picture the senarios. The temporary shift into another world and back again. Currently reading The Pinocchio Syndromne. Interesting book but alot of sexual references. Sigh. Sexual references. Gah. Turned off.
Anyway you guys know what? The Eisen Guards are performing on Saturday(30/9) @ Vintage Bar, Cuppage plaza, level 3.
Here's a map of Cuppage Plaza
Hope to see you guys there!
Anyway, yeah I'm feeling a little lighter now. Carried my burdens rather than dragging them behind me. So renewed with energy, I'm hyper at 130am after just 4 hours of sleep in 3 days. Damn. But I feel ok though. Strange.
Books are just the greatest thing around now for me to just be in my own world. They just use up all my brain resources to imagine and picture the senarios. The temporary shift into another world and back again. Currently reading The Pinocchio Syndromne. Interesting book but alot of sexual references. Sigh. Sexual references. Gah. Turned off.
Anyway you guys know what? The Eisen Guards are performing on Saturday(30/9) @ Vintage Bar, Cuppage plaza, level 3.
Here's a map of Cuppage Plaza
Hope to see you guys there!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
I have to congratulate myself today. This is so amazing. Never thought it would happened but it happened anyway.
I FUCKING SNAPPED!
Woohoo! Ain't that great?! After so long. Damn there's another thing that happened too! I've snapped at my mum!! For the 1st time in my life! What a day this is! Congratulations Fie! What the hell was that! Luckily my logical brain asked me to go home by myself or I'm sure I'd snapped at the band too. Gee. Nice work brain. Would award you with a gift soon ya. What a day. What a day... Sigh......
I'm so damn SORRY.
Sorry guys. Didn't meant to walk away from you guys. I didn't want to snap at you all. Sorry MUM. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to shout at you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I've been a bad son and I didn't mean to do that. I shed a tear typing this. Please forgive me. I'm sorry DAD for not being able to be myself when you bring the whole family out to play bowling. I'm sorry MY LIL BRO SYAKIR for not playing as much as I do with you and shoo-ing you out of my room whenever you wanted to come in to play with me. I'm sorry MY 2nd BRO YAN for not even wishing you happy birthday on your birthday and didn't get you anything. I'm sorry My Sis hani for ignoring you whenever you tried to talk to me. I'm sorry NURA for all the trouble I've caused you by approaching you. I'm sorry YK for letting you worry about dumb me and almost snapping at you at certain times. I'm sorry WAN for being in a bad mood after getting you your birthday present. I'm sorry JASON for wasting your time babbling about my problems. I'm sorry FIZA for dragging you down from work just because I needed someone to talk to. I'm sorry SYIDAH for dragging you down from work too. I'm sorry SEOK for calling you in the middle of the night just to talk and disturb you. I'm sorry YUNI for disturbing you with my problems even though I know you're having problems on your own with your BF. I'm sorry ELLE for not being my usual cheerful self and been turning to you just to smile. I'm sorry RABANI for disturbing you during work and after with my endless worries and problems.
Lastly, I'm sorry to everyone whom I've caused hurt, trouble and pulled you down from your happy lives. I've let you all down. I hope all of you forgive me. And I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being there for me. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Please give me some time to be back to my normal cheerful self. I promise.
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*Left this portion out today. I hope all goes well*
I FUCKING SNAPPED!
Woohoo! Ain't that great?! After so long. Damn there's another thing that happened too! I've snapped at my mum!! For the 1st time in my life! What a day this is! Congratulations Fie! What the hell was that! Luckily my logical brain asked me to go home by myself or I'm sure I'd snapped at the band too. Gee. Nice work brain. Would award you with a gift soon ya. What a day. What a day... Sigh......
I'm so damn SORRY.
Sorry guys. Didn't meant to walk away from you guys. I didn't want to snap at you all. Sorry MUM. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to shout at you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I've been a bad son and I didn't mean to do that. I shed a tear typing this. Please forgive me. I'm sorry DAD for not being able to be myself when you bring the whole family out to play bowling. I'm sorry MY LIL BRO SYAKIR for not playing as much as I do with you and shoo-ing you out of my room whenever you wanted to come in to play with me. I'm sorry MY 2nd BRO YAN for not even wishing you happy birthday on your birthday and didn't get you anything. I'm sorry My Sis hani for ignoring you whenever you tried to talk to me. I'm sorry NURA for all the trouble I've caused you by approaching you. I'm sorry YK for letting you worry about dumb me and almost snapping at you at certain times. I'm sorry WAN for being in a bad mood after getting you your birthday present. I'm sorry JASON for wasting your time babbling about my problems. I'm sorry FIZA for dragging you down from work just because I needed someone to talk to. I'm sorry SYIDAH for dragging you down from work too. I'm sorry SEOK for calling you in the middle of the night just to talk and disturb you. I'm sorry YUNI for disturbing you with my problems even though I know you're having problems on your own with your BF. I'm sorry ELLE for not being my usual cheerful self and been turning to you just to smile. I'm sorry RABANI for disturbing you during work and after with my endless worries and problems.
Lastly, I'm sorry to everyone whom I've caused hurt, trouble and pulled you down from your happy lives. I've let you all down. I hope all of you forgive me. And I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being there for me. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Please give me some time to be back to my normal cheerful self. I promise.
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*Left this portion out today. I hope all goes well*
Friday, September 22, 2006
Back from camp. Shitty. Its a damn shitty feeling to be in camp while you're all troubled with yourself. You have no privacy. You can't sleep. Everything around you seems to notice your every move. Its kinda irritating you see. Ah well.
I'm down with depression. That's official. Doc said that. Gah. Whatever. Still went through with IPPT, without sleep and food, not much happened. Its all in the mind as they say.
Met up with Jason after book out. Went to the old Bukit Batok West Mac to chill and chat about stuffs, band and all, catching up. Haven't been spending time with my close friends, so does he. Talked about so much stuffs, it seems like as if we hadn't sit down and talk for years. Damn NS. Destroying our social life. We bumped into, or rather they bumped into us, Ibsen and his girlfriend (kinda forgot her name. Oops.) at the mac later on. Had a short chat with each other, telling him about the gig and stuffs.
Made plans for jamming tommorrow at the new Garage Studios. Wonder how will it be like there. The old one kinda suck though. Hope it's improved now. Had to polish up our playing and decide on our theme for our clothes and others. Jason had this cool idea of buying plain T-shirts and write the names of Iron Maiden's members on each of us to represent which of us are playing who, eg. Jason drums will be Nicko. Kinda cool yet posers but who cares! Up the Irons!
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The human being is a fragile specimen of life. It seems as though we rule this world but in fact, we are just being played by it, played by life. Which makes us wonder what, why and how are we alive and be the person that you are. We are all slaved by our own emotions and feelings, both do either harm or good to us. Can't we understand ourselves sometimes? Isn't there a reason why certain things are just unexplainable. The fact that most of us do not know the purpose of us being alive, is probably because we just couldn't find an appropriate purpose to be committed to. Its inevitable that sometimes things just go against our way and that somehow we just couldn't pull away from the current. As the saying says 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'. Will letting the current drag you to a calm lake? Or just takes you to a waterfall where you'll plummeted into the depths?
Things aren't clear for now. Loosing strength to be fighting with the current. Risking it to go with the flow. Closing my eyes, calming myself. What happen next, only time will tell.
I'm down with depression. That's official. Doc said that. Gah. Whatever. Still went through with IPPT, without sleep and food, not much happened. Its all in the mind as they say.
Met up with Jason after book out. Went to the old Bukit Batok West Mac to chill and chat about stuffs, band and all, catching up. Haven't been spending time with my close friends, so does he. Talked about so much stuffs, it seems like as if we hadn't sit down and talk for years. Damn NS. Destroying our social life. We bumped into, or rather they bumped into us, Ibsen and his girlfriend (kinda forgot her name. Oops.) at the mac later on. Had a short chat with each other, telling him about the gig and stuffs.
Made plans for jamming tommorrow at the new Garage Studios. Wonder how will it be like there. The old one kinda suck though. Hope it's improved now. Had to polish up our playing and decide on our theme for our clothes and others. Jason had this cool idea of buying plain T-shirts and write the names of Iron Maiden's members on each of us to represent which of us are playing who, eg. Jason drums will be Nicko. Kinda cool yet posers but who cares! Up the Irons!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The human being is a fragile specimen of life. It seems as though we rule this world but in fact, we are just being played by it, played by life. Which makes us wonder what, why and how are we alive and be the person that you are. We are all slaved by our own emotions and feelings, both do either harm or good to us. Can't we understand ourselves sometimes? Isn't there a reason why certain things are just unexplainable. The fact that most of us do not know the purpose of us being alive, is probably because we just couldn't find an appropriate purpose to be committed to. Its inevitable that sometimes things just go against our way and that somehow we just couldn't pull away from the current. As the saying says 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'. Will letting the current drag you to a calm lake? Or just takes you to a waterfall where you'll plummeted into the depths?
Things aren't clear for now. Loosing strength to be fighting with the current. Risking it to go with the flow. Closing my eyes, calming myself. What happen next, only time will tell.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Sigh. Dumb me. Was suppose to go down to the airport to see Chris(nura's) off back home but I couldn't. Its just not possible to be there in my state right now. Swollen eyes, dazed, in my own world. How could I possibly do any good if I were to go there. Instead of good memories of his stay here, Chris would probably be turn off by the sight of a loser like me.
Instead I hide myself in my room, door's closed, my guitar amp half blasting, my laptop screaming Maiden. Playing with all my heart out. I had to block it off. I had to keep it in. The knife is still stuck there right at the heart. Is there a thing called brainwash? If there is please do tell me how to. I missed feeling happy. Feeling normal. The usual Fie. Sigh.
I'm sorry nura, really am. I promised. Broke that promise. Sigh.
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Pathetic. Its the perfect word. To describe a weakling. A weakling, deserved what he gets. Such pathetic behaviour is unacceptable. WAKE THE FUCK UP, FOR GOODNESS SAKE! You wanna be like this?! This weak fuck that you are?! C'mon! That mask of your's aren't gonna last forever. It will break sooner or later, and when it does, the humiliation is just gonna overwhelm you. Be the person that you were. Its time to continue the journey of your life. Your old life.
Remember the promise, remember the vow.
Forget what misery is, I know you know how.
Pick up the remains, of your shattered heart.
As the pain starts to wane, then a new path shall start.
Instead I hide myself in my room, door's closed, my guitar amp half blasting, my laptop screaming Maiden. Playing with all my heart out. I had to block it off. I had to keep it in. The knife is still stuck there right at the heart. Is there a thing called brainwash? If there is please do tell me how to. I missed feeling happy. Feeling normal. The usual Fie. Sigh.
I'm sorry nura, really am. I promised. Broke that promise. Sigh.
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Pathetic. Its the perfect word. To describe a weakling. A weakling, deserved what he gets. Such pathetic behaviour is unacceptable. WAKE THE FUCK UP, FOR GOODNESS SAKE! You wanna be like this?! This weak fuck that you are?! C'mon! That mask of your's aren't gonna last forever. It will break sooner or later, and when it does, the humiliation is just gonna overwhelm you. Be the person that you were. Its time to continue the journey of your life. Your old life.
Remember the promise, remember the vow.
Forget what misery is, I know you know how.
Pick up the remains, of your shattered heart.
As the pain starts to wane, then a new path shall start.
Ok. Here we go again. Blog revived. =/ Well, hope this goes well.
Well, been quite sometime since I post eh? No more poems now. Totally life. Heh. Shit. Gah. No no. Not life now. Maybe when times are happier eh? =) Hmm. I tell you! I met this guy in Gunbound with the nick of BunnieJunkie. And he has abt 90% similarities as me! Lol! =X
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Don't care about me anymore. Just let me suffer alone. Please. You wanna be selfish then be selfish for 1 last time. Don't care about me. Go on. Live your life. Just leave me behind. Caring about me just holds you back in fulfilling your life's fun.
Hate me. You don't love me anymore so just hate me. Its easier to move ahead.
I'm cursed with this thing called love.
Let it hurt me.
Let it torture me.
I'm not taking anyone with me.
For what its worth,
I'm staying here till it kills me.
One way or another.
Living day by day with the pain,
is just becoming all too natural for me.
Numb and cold is all I feel.
Just leave me be.
For all you know it,
there isn't a me.
How nice would that be.
Gooood bye, Fie!
Well, been quite sometime since I post eh? No more poems now. Totally life. Heh. Shit. Gah. No no. Not life now. Maybe when times are happier eh? =) Hmm. I tell you! I met this guy in Gunbound with the nick of BunnieJunkie. And he has abt 90% similarities as me! Lol! =X
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Don't care about me anymore. Just let me suffer alone. Please. You wanna be selfish then be selfish for 1 last time. Don't care about me. Go on. Live your life. Just leave me behind. Caring about me just holds you back in fulfilling your life's fun.
Hate me. You don't love me anymore so just hate me. Its easier to move ahead.
I'm cursed with this thing called love.
Let it hurt me.
Let it torture me.
I'm not taking anyone with me.
For what its worth,
I'm staying here till it kills me.
One way or another.
Living day by day with the pain,
is just becoming all too natural for me.
Numb and cold is all I feel.
Just leave me be.
For all you know it,
there isn't a me.
How nice would that be.
Gooood bye, Fie!
