Trust.

Trust no one but yourself. What if you can't trust your judgement? You can't trust your instinct, your feelings, your heart, your own consciousness. What would you do?


Gah, back of the head! GO! Shoo!


So lets get on to the usual stuffs.

My OC(officer commanding) is posting out next week. After a year and a half, he's gonna be posted to 2PDF doing training work. On the night that he talked to us, saying his goodbyes, he cried. That fat bugger cried when he recalled to us what he'd been through together. It's quite understandable, he's done everything during his time as OC to look after us. Like a father to an extremely large family of 350++ sons.

One and a half years. Soon I'm gonna ORD. Leaving behind army life, back into society. Nervous? Yeah. Scared? Definitely. Next phase in life's starting soon. Preparing for it is just torturous. Wish I could just say "Come on! Get it started already!". Oh well.

Going Taiwan in May. Gosh, time flies fast. Too fast.  ¶ 4:06 AM

  Hmm. It seems like every off-day I'm busy. Meet up with the usual friends, meet up with old friends, meet up with new friends, meet up with my cousins. Meeting people. Been sometime since I spend time alone.

Anyway, meet up with Michy today for dinner. Ate fish and chips, and as usual, when daddy and daughter meet up, its non-stop chit chatting and catching up plus full of laughter. Laugh till Michy gets tummy ache. Haha. Walked down to Suntec to meet up with Clarabelle soon after. Walked into toy'r'us and carefour. Its amazing to see a 23year-old girl playing with a toy made for an 8 month old baby. Somehow they're almost the same. =X After meeting up with Clara we went to chill at Galere. Thickshakes just rocks. And wafers with ice cream, I don't think I need to elaborate on that. All those time, laughing away. Worth being busy for.

There's a Mizuno 10km run next month around 22-26 April. If anyone wanna sign up, if there's anyone at all, do get the entry forms at world of sports and royal sports outlets. $10 per person. Its at Mt. Faber.




Something's squishy. =)  ¶ 1:09 AM

  The usual jog. Saw a familiar face.

No. Nah, it can't be.
What if it is?

I'm just imagining things. You're tired, Fie.
Hmm. I guess I am.

But I can't deny I've seen it. Sheesh. Damn it.

Get it out, Fie. Get it out of your head.  ¶ 2:17 AM

  Went out with Wan, Yk and Sebas yesterday. Wan brought us to this place called Fisherman's Wharves. Cool place. The fish and chips there rocks! Seriously rocks! Yummy tartar sauce too. And according to them, the coleslaw was power! Great place. You guys should try it. Its just across the road from Clark Quay Mrt station. Go try it! Highly recommended.

And here are some pictures of us. NO! We're not cam whoring. We're just taking a lot of stupid pictures. =D



Wooo. Camera. Wan never seen a camera before.


Yk: Why you smile?!
Wan: I wasn't suppose to smile?


Indie band - The WTFs

Ok, I can't explain this.

A short 3 hour meet up for dinner. We should do this often. =)  ¶ 11:29 AM

  Scooby doo bee doo~
Scooby doo bee doo wah wah~
Yeah magic~

Its a wonder how 3 lines of nonsense, add some melody into it, can make 3 guys laugh out loud during their 12hr duty. Weird eh? Heh. Mad fucks.

Still sick. Gah. Update later.  ¶ 2:20 AM

  Been sick for the past 2 days, with flu and sore throat with mild fever. Can't have a peaceful sleep. Everytime I close my eyes, I'll dream of the cat meowing at me, blood flowing down her mouth.

Oh, by the way, just went I left for camp on Friday, the SPCA guy told me that the cat was already dead. Not sleeping. Her cause of death? A few of her rib cage pierced through her lungs. Sigh. Then when I got back from camp today, her 'mate' was meowing around the void deck. I guess he's looking for his beloved. I guess its no use to get angry over anything, at all.

Anyhow, on a brighter side - there's always a brighter side in life - I get a tub of my favourite cream puffs from my aunt! All to MYSELF! HEH! I'm a happy man.

A sick man too. Argh. Damn flu. I'm off to bed.  ¶ 10:30 PM

  FUCKING CB! SOME MOTHERFUCKER THREW A CAT OFF THE CORRIDOR FROM MY BLOCK! ROT IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER!

The cat's bleeding from the mouth. From what I can see, the cat broke its front 2 legs and its rib cage. I'm afraid that the bone might have pierced through her lungs and puncture it as its breathing abnormally. She tried to move and kept meowing, I had to restrain her before she worsened her injury. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH................ This cat have been sleeping in my shoe rack every night. Angry sad alkdnjn24l1m dsal... Freaking hell. She's dying a slow death for God's sake!

The police came and called the SPCA. Hard to say it, but I don't she's gonna survive. Last I saw when the SPCA people took her, she was sleeping and breathing very lightly, blood still coming out from her mouth and nose.

She's meowing for help when I rushed down. Its raining and my bro came down with an umbrella. I can see tears from his eyes when he tried to calm her down, stroking her head. Yes, its totally disheartening to see it. She had feelings too.

Calm down, Fie. Gotta book in.  ¶ 3:28 PM

  I would like to introduce you all to my 2nd wife. I couldn't think of any other name but E'liza. She's a beauty.








Yup, Maestro Guitar. I've been strumming and singing a lot and haven't been actually play anything technical for quite sometime. If only I had a higher voice range. Hmm. Anyone out there wanna do RELEK rock with me? Just for fun. I can do Creed/3 Doors Down type of singing. Others can try.

I'm nervous about my soon to be job. I want the job no matter what but I'm just worried about the pay. Doing my dream job, yet I have to consider the reality. I work because I don't wanna trouble my parents and I wanna help out with my siblings school fees and pocket money. At least after that my parents would be able to enjoy themselves a bit more, go on holidays and stuffs. Gah, I just wanna see them happy.

I've been reading and learning about sound equipments and logic. Reading about sound theory in different types of environment and atmosphere. Read them and it didn't help much though. Need to go down there and do the stuffs hands on. Goal : to be a regular part time soundman at Esplanade. Wished I could go overseas and further my work, but that's something I've to sacrifice. So many plans that I wanna do when I start work, I can't wait for it to start.


Wan, relax bradder. We just continue playing. I have the hunger to perform too but I'm keeping it inside till when we perform again, I'll just let it explode out. While waiting for that to happen, keep improving yourself. Keep playing. I tell you, you can be a super giler bassist. You've got it inside of you. Don't feel left out. We love having you around and like Yk said, we sometimes don't call you down because we're afraid we might trouble you or tire you. And you're working the next day.

We jammed music with our hearts. Play with our hearts and enjoy the music. Its our passion. Not even time can break our bond when we play. This 2nd family of ours, is something new to me, maybe to all of us. Never felt this way before. NS is keeping us from going anywhere at the moment. Just awhile more for me and Yk, ya? Awhile more.. Then, we'll just rock the hell out. Who cares what people said. As long as we do what we love to do, and that is make music and play music, and we have each other, that's all that matters to me now. =)

And I never bully you! I bully Yk! Eh being the youngest got its good points. You're our bear! Our cute bear! Heee. I've never looked at you as someone younger than me. Treat you the same as I do with the rest. So relax. We're not abang-abang. Just cocksters. Heh.  ¶ 12:07 AM

  I've been singing this song ever since I got home; I'm amazed by you by Lone star/Tim McGraw. A nice song to strum on the guitar and sing by yourself. Argh. I'm in love with singing!

I'm amazed by you
Tim McGraw

Every Time Our Eyes Meet,
There Is A Feelin Inside Me
It's Almost More Than I Can Take
Baby When You Touch Me
I Can Feel How Much You Love Me
And It Just Blows Me Away
I've Never Been This Close To Anyone
Or Anything
I Can Hear your Thoughts, I Can See Your Dreams

(Chorus):
I Dunno How You Do What You Do
I'm So In Love With You
It Just Keeps Getting Better
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My life
With You By My Side
For Ever and Ever
Every Little Thing That You Do
Baby I'm Amazed By You

The Smell Of Your Skin
The Taste of your kiss
The Way You Whisper In The Dark
You're Hair All Around Me
Baby You Surround Me
You Touch Every Place In My Heart
Oh..It Feels Like The First Time, Every Time
I Wanna Spend The Whole Night..In You're Hands

(Chorus):
I Dunno How You Do What You Do
I'm So In Love With You
It Just Keeps Getting Better
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My life
With You By My Side
For Ever and Ever
Every Little Thing That You Do
Baby I'm Amazed By You

Every Little Thing That You Do
I'm So In Love With You
And It Just Keeps Getting Better
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My Life
With You By My Side
For Ever And Ever
Every Little Thing That You Do
Every Little Thing That You Do

Baby I'm Amazed By You  ¶ 3:49 AM

  Argh! My bad dream is haunting me since I woke up!! Argh!

This is the 1st time ever that I had a bad dream and I woke up sweating and panting.
Let me tell you guys about this "wonderful" dream.

Just before I went to sleep after duty, I switched on my handphone and read my smses. I received an sms from Jason saying that he's leaving for India. Didn't get the chance to wish him goodbye. So after that I went to sleep. And the dream starts.

I was going back to camp for duty. The rest of the guys, Sebas, Yk and Jason are going on a holiday trip to somewhere. They're taking a plane. So sadly, I had duty on that period and have to cancel my trip. While on my duty rest, I somehow was video conferencing with them on the plane (I don't know how we could do that but yeah). Sebas was using his msn account to video chat. They were happily disturbing me on how nice the plane was, the flight stewardess was, etc. Then Sebas noticed that they were flying too low to the ground and direct the camera to the plane window. All I could see was water, and that body of water was too close for comfort.

Jason brushed it off saying that the plane's gonna climb to higher altitude soon and they were all laughing again. I managed a grim smile on my face. Before I knew it, Sebas was thrown forward to the camera and when he recovered, flames just swept across all 3 of them and connection was cut. You have no idea how freaking shocked I was. Then I had this image of the plane come crashing down in a ball of flames on to some beach where a small village was. After that everything fast forward and I was at a large hall to identify the bodies.

Somehow, the bodies are placed according to their seat numbers. Their seat number were 23-25. 26 was empty. I was suppose to be on that seat. 1st body was Sebas's. Ah fuck, I can't describe the condition. I just recognise the silver ring he was wearing, the one he bought at Plaza Singapura. Next, was Yk's. I recognise the charred earrings he wore. Lastly, was Jason. No mistake about that. The dream fast forward to their funeral. I was watching from afar as the undertakers covered their graves with earth.

Then I woke up.

I was drenched in sweat although the room was air-conditioned. And I was panting as if I just ran 2.4km. Damn dream. The worst nightmare I had. Gah.


On a lighter side, the song "I'm amazed by you" by Tim McGraw is stuck in my head and I kept singing and playing my guitar to it ever since I get home. Damn nice song. Another song that's stuck in my head is "Wherever you will go" by The Calling. Wished I had a good memory so I could memorise the lyrics easily. Getting my acoustic guitar soon. Can't wait to hear the sound of acoustics again. Sorry Dez'ray, I'm two-timing you! Heee. =D  ¶ 1:55 AM

  Here we go again, Fie full of thoughts.

I woke up today lying in bed for an hour. I was thinking about someone. She thought me an important lesson. She taught me how to forgive myself. You can't blame others for influencing you, nor blame others for the mistakes that you've make. It's you who decide to be what you are or do what you've did.

Its not easy to forgive one's self. Its easier to forgive someone else. As humans, we get angry, frustrated, we can't accept that sometimes we make our own mistakes. It'll keep ringing in our head, "No, its not my fault. Its the other person's fault." It may be through on some situations. But when the situation effects your way of living, your emotions, anything to do with yourself, its nobody's fault, except you. That's where we'll learn again, how to be strong.

There are cases where people put the blame on themselves and the pressure or the guilt or whatever is too heavy of a burden for them to carry. That's where people fall. To be strong to stand up and walk again, its hard at times but everyone can do it. Just a matter of time and patience. Friends are the best people to help you stand. Or maybe just something you're in love with ( Dez'ray! I love you! =x ok shut it up).

Ah shit. Can't go on... she's seducing me to play her! Noooooo..............

*Fie fell for the trap of seduction*  ¶ 11:48 AM

  Psst! Yeah, you. I'm here! Come, come! Lets talk cock again! Full of nonsense yet somehow true but what the heck its nonsense anyway.

Hmm. Ok lah, not totally nonsense. Weeeeeee.

Went for barbeque at Yk's place today. Shall talk about it more on the next post, with pictures! Heh!

MOO cha! MOOOOOO cha!!  ¶ 1:47 AM

  Here I am, standing in the rain, getting all drenched. But its fun. Love the rain. =)




And the after effects, notice the colour difference. -.-




Ignore the pose. Try to act fierce but look like cocks.  ¶ 2:24 PM

  So many things going through in my head last night. About my future, about my family, about friends. I've been daydreaming a lot about all these stuffs. I'm so caught up with stuffs I do to keep myself busy that I'm beginning to neglect things around me.

I can't wait to start work. To experience working life and doing the thing that I've always wished to do; to be a professional soundman. Its a passion, but I worry about the pay. Not for myself. I want to help out with my family. Being eldest, I've just gotta bear the responsibility. Skipped university or going overseas studies. To be able to give my siblings pocket money, lightened the burden from my dad. Bring my mum go shopping, which have been my 'wants' since secondary school. I just hope I'd work hard enough.

I don't know what's going on with my siblings' life. I just hope that they won't go astray and disappoint my mum. Some things I can cover and keep to myself. Its their life. They'll learn to live on their own. But some things I just can't close my eyes and pretend I never see anything. Sigh. Wished I've been a better brother.

Friends... Its different nowadays. Everyone's changing. A few changed to someone they once told me they didn't want to be. A few changed to a new leaf. And some changed to suite their busy work life. So much changes, in a short time. In a selfish way, I ignore the changes and carry on with whatever I'm comfortable with. Honestly, I can't really ignore anything, good or bad, kind or mean, so I tend to look back and then force myself to turn back in front whenever I do. Everybody's changing. Me too.

Lastly, to my bro YK. Stop smoking lah. You said you'll quit once I quit, then you still continue. You said to me you're being influence by the people around you now. Yes, you do. I'm not gonna say I'm stopping you from being influenced. I'm just worried. Nowadays, you're clubbing, smoking, and trying to hit on girls. Its a totally different YK. But, like I said, I'm not stopping you from doing the things that you're doing.

Its been a long time since we spend time like the old days and just have fun or just relax. Remember the times we spent playing D&D after school at that xbox shop? And the times we jammed together when we're both drummers. A couple of nerds eh? Who cares? Its fun. Now, we're busy with NS and jamming. Soon you'll be busy with studies and I'll be busy with work. I wished we're back like we were back then, though its impossible, just a day or 2 of that feeling now would be enough. Notice, I haven't been talking to you that much.

We're like real brothers, so if you guys think it sounded gay then that's your thoughts. Brothers look out for one another. I blogged this down just because I'm worried, though I don't show it. You know me, I don't express my feelings when I'm outside. Now I am, and I'm worried. Its wrong to say it but since you already say it to me at KAP Mac, so I'll say it here. I missed you, bro.  ¶ 3:50 AM

  OK! Lets post random stuffs today.

I'll shall start with the name my friends call me, Fie. I met this friend of mine recently. She kept irritating me by calling my name and dragging it.

Her: Fieeeeeeeeeeeeee. *Grins widely*
Me: What?
A few seconds later
Her: Fieeeeeeeeeeeeee. *Grins wider*
Me: What?!
After walking a while...
Her: Fieeeeeeeeeeeeee. *Grins widest*
Me: You siao ah?! *Poke*
Her: Fieeeeeeeeeeeeee. *Sad face*
Me: *Ignore*

You should know who you are! Roar.

Next, I shall talk about standing in the rain in a non waterproof raincoat (yes, NON waterproof) in the middle of a heavy downpour. It could have been a very nice feeling if not for my NON waterproof leather boots. Yes, I could rear fishes in my boots. Soggy socks. Yuck. Well, look on the bright side, its been so long since I've played in the rain. Jumping in puddles of water(splash), kicking water around, running in the rain, singing in the rain. I think the people working there think I'm nuts. Hey! We all have our inner child. =D

Talked about singing, I tried a few genres of songs to suite my voice. After getting views from my friends, I've decided to try Creed. Its within my vocal range and kinda like their songs too. Still need some control on my pitching. Any vocalist out there offer to help out? =/

I've finally found myself a jogging partner; my own cousin! She'd been jogging everyday and I didn't even know it. -.- A Malay saying that goes "Cari jauh-jauh, dekat-dekat ada tak nak" which means search far away, the near ones never consider. She'd even climb Mt. Kinabalu and get a sprained ankle? Damn if it weren't for deployment I would have join the 5km run with her. Gah.

Lastly, I would like to say something important. Very, very important.

MASTER IS FAT! FATTY ASS! YOU ARE FAT! BUT NEVER MIND! CAUSE WE'RE BOTH FATSOS! SO YOU ARE STILL FAT! DON'T DENY IT, FATTY! HEHEHE!
  ¶ 12:20 AM